


No, You! [Jamilton]

by hamilnerdom



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, I WANT TO CRY, I suck at this, Jamilton - Freeform, Jamilton Month 2020, M/M, M/M Rares 2019, There are a bunch of song references, alex is annoying but weird, brief mullete, its also on wattpad lol, jamilton is amazing, magenta and green feature sometimes, sing along as I make them, some anxiety attacks, they kinda kiss and don't know what's going on??, they're debating with/against each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 19,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamilnerdom/pseuds/hamilnerdom
Summary: "Are you really going to do this, Hamilton?""You bet, Jefferson."Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson have been rivals for as long as they could remember, and couldn't stand each other, especially in a debate. So when Mr Washington, their debate teacher, pairs them together for a competition, hilarity ensues, and maybe love is in the air.Modern college AU.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan
Comments: 18
Kudos: 59
Collections: Hamilton Crap





	1. Chapter 1:Pure Hatred

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have very recently entered the Hamilton fandom and have not found a fanfiction that was perfect for me, so here's mine. Just a reminder, this is the musical version of these people because 1) I'm a hoe for Daveed Diggs and 2) otherwise it's really weird. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy my slow-burn fanfiction, and it is going to be slow, so please stick with me lol. 
> 
> I also do not own any of the art because I cannot draw.
> 
> Have fun enjoying Jamilton. This is also on Wattpad, and all the details are the same lol.

Hamilton's POV

"Good morning, Mr Washington," I said, entering the classroom.

Jefferson snickered.

"What is it now, Jefferson?"

"Mr Washingmachine isn't here, Hamilton. He's off in the teacher's lounge for a meeting."

I sighed. Of course. He had a meeting today, and we were just supposed to prepare for the upcoming singles debate.

"Should we start, Jefferson?" I said, taking my notebook out of my satchel.

"Sure, Hamilton, when you lose the purse," Jefferson replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Just take your damned notes out and we can compare."

Jefferson chuckled and took his notebook out. We had to debate on murder trials, and Burr was originally supposed to be my partner, but after the whole Theodosia mess, he had been a wreck and kept to himself. Jefferson was my last choice, but Mr Washington decided that ruining an hour of my day would be 'good for connection with fellow debaters.' I had a frenemy-esque relationship with Burr, but even that was better than the pure hatred I held for Jefferson.

"So I assume you're beginning with a quote?" Jefferson asked, clearly in mirth.

"Yes. Marian Babson," I replied absentmindedly, writing down a few other ideas that immediately arrived in my brain.

"How basic."

"And effective," I shoot back. "Let me remind you that I won the last mock debate, Jefferson."

"That's just because you've got Washington on your side. We emerged as a tie in the regionals."

"And I got more points, Jefferson."

"Correction, Hamilton. You got more points for content. I, however, could carry the crowd."

It was at that very moment Mr Washington decided to enter. He sat himself down as I wished him a good morning. "So what'd I miss?" he asked.

I jumped out of my chair with my notebook and showed my points to Mr Washington.

"Son, don't you think that's too much to fit in 3 minutes? You haven't even written your conclusion yet."

I fought with the urge to tell him to not call me 'son', and replied, "Sir, this is just a rough version. I'm sure, given more time, my added points will condense into a proper speech."

"And Jefferson?" Washington asked as I went back to my chair. Jefferson nonchalantly replied, "Mostly in my head, sir. Here's the outline - I start with a real-life example, preferably the prison labour system, and I move on to human rights and lastly to rehabilitation."

"Jefferson, do you think that's enough?"

"Sure, sir. I can't go faster than that and get the votes."

"I'm still concerned, Jefferson. Take a few of Hamilton's points."

As soon as I heard Mr Washington utter those words, I felt my face heat with anger.

"Very respectfully, sir," I said, making sure to give Thomas the ultimate stink-eye, "I think Jefferson can hold his own with this outline. After all, one of us has to win."

"And that'll be me, Hamilton," Jefferson sneered.

"If only this was an actual debate where facts are more important than philosophical fiction."

"If you continue, Hamilton, soon your existence will be fiction."

"Jefferson, you must be out of your goddamn mind if you think -"

"Enough!" Mr Washington yelled, and we both sat down. "Jefferson, Hamilton, here's what is going to happen. The two of you will be debate partners permanently, even when Burr comes back. The two of you are the best debaters this college has, and we need to win this debate competition this year. I'll call the coordinator and get the names reversed. Meanwhile, the two of you will work together for an offence and defence, and Burr and Madison will work on theirs. And the two of you will win. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," we echoed. Jefferson turned to me and smirked. "Good luck on offence, Hamilfit."

"Good luck trying to have a rebuttal, Jefferson."

Mr Washington sighed. "Go to the library and get to work."

Jefferson and I went on different routes, him taking the one through the field and me taking the one through the cafeteria. I was fuming all the way, but a small concern was messing with my head.

Did he just call me Hamil-fit?


	2. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson kinda maybe is okay with working with Hamilton. Idk man I suck at summaries

Jefferson's POV

I fucking hate Freudian slips.  
I wanted to say Hamil-shit. Not Hamil-fit!  
This is what happens when you think too much about your singledom, Jefferson, and you must stop. The fact that I haven't had a significant other ever troubles me, simply because I've always fallen for people who were in relationships or didn't like my gender.  
And I thought being bisexual was supposed to help with your chances.

I made my way into the library and sat down at the last table in the fifth aisle, took my laptop out and started to look more into the topic given. I had to at least fill in with the real-life example, and I had to find it quick before Hamilton could smugly offer me an argument and imply my uselessness. It was a relief that my favourite table was clear though, because the view through the window looked on to the surrounding trees, and the birds' annoying chirping couldn't be heard.

Engrossed thoroughly in my work, I continued to make notes on my magenta notebook, when I suddenly heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up and lo and behold, Lafayette stood in front of me.

"Hey, Laf," I said, smiling at him. "What brings you here?"  
"I'm here to escape from Laurens and Schuyler," he replied in his thick French accent.  
"Which one this week?"  
"Peggy."

I laughed. John Laurens could always be depended on to get a new girlfriend every week, and he had worked his way through half of the female population at King's College already. There were rumours of him contracting an STD, but Laurens was a medicine minor (with a zoology major), which made him hyper-aware of symptoms, and he hadn't panicked in the last month, so I would say that he's either fine or has syphilis. 

"Will you help me, Laf?" I said, gesturing him to bring his chair closer. "Your law major might actually help now."  
"Mon ami, my law major has never helped me, and will probably never help you."

As we worked on the speech and made a few bad jokes (murder? I hardly even know her), I was feeling a sense of relief as I wasn't concentrated on my imminent death alone. However, a tap on Laf's shoulder broke this little paradise.

"Hamilton!" Laf said, getting up and hugging him.  
"No affection in the world could be enough for you, Laf," said Hamilton, and sat down at the table. I scowled at him and he stuck out his tongue.  
"Oi! Quit acting like babies," Laf said, although his French pronunciation changed 'baby' to 'bebe', and that prompted both Hamilton and me to start laughing.  
At that moment, Hamilton didn't look so annoying.  
What did I just think?

Hamilton's face morphed back to its usual scowl and he took out his notebook. "Mr Washington had asked us to compare notes, Jefferson, or did you forget?"  
"How could I, Hamilton, when your sweet disposition is the one I have to deal with for the rest of the tournament?"  
"I bet if you had any common sense you'd remember that winning this tournament could get us scholarships in good universities after graduation. I know you have money, Jefferson, but I don't. I'm flying by the seat of my pants."

I sighed. I wasn't heartless, although Hamilton would argue so, and I knew how important this was to him. Sharing a common friend group could really stir up some compassion, and I didn't want it.

"Alright, Hamilton. Let's get to work."

The both of us compared and contrasted notes, working out rebuttals for the debate tomorrow. Laf left halfway, declaring his aversion to what he called 'nerdy activities' and both of us were left alone, and we kept working until the librarian asked us to leave. Since our dorms were near each other's, we were forced to go on the same route, and Hamilton seemed a little perturbed.

"What's up, Hammy Boy?" I asked.  
"Don't ask, Jeffer-sloth," he replied.  
"But I did."  
"I'm just thinking."

I accepted his answer and forged towards our dorms in absolute silence. We would sometimes pass some giggling freshmen and sophomores, and quite a few drunk teenagers, but the silence was comfortable. We had never been together and not had raised voices and empty threats of disembowelment, which made this very surprising.

Maybe having Hamilton as a debate partner isn't that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do comment if y'all have suggestions for the following chapters or some criticism.  
> Plus there might be some continuity errors, I wrote a lot of them very sleep-deprived :)


	3. Sleepover Kinda???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weird sleepover i guess

Hamilton's POV

I hated having Jefferson as a debate partner.

I mean, he was an amazing debater, no doubt. When he spoke, it was like he was the President of the United States of America, and it enraptured everyone listening to him.  
But it made me feel inferior.  
My style had always been non-stop. I keep talking, and talking, and talking, and every single time I score less votes from the audience but win because the judges appreciated my arguments. I always wanted to learn how to speak like Jefferson (not that I would ever admit it) and I always failed to talk less, and smile more.

And who wouldn't be won over by Jefferson's smile?

"Alex!" John yelled, barging into my room, and chuckling. "Staring at the stars on the ceiling again huh?"  
"Shut up, John," I smiled.   
"Anyway, do you want to get dinner? Mrs Schuyler's in charge of the pizza place today and Peggy promised us free slices."  
"Peggy," I chuckled. "Is that who you're dating now?"  
"Yes, Alex," John sighed for dramatic effect. "Ever since we broke up -"  
"It was four years ago now, John. Shut up."  
"But it hurts, Alex. The ice-cream machine -"

I threw a pillow at his face and got up from my bed. John smiled and gestured towards the door.

"Are you sure you're fine, Alex?" John asked, with a smidgen of actual worry in his voice.  
"Yes," I replied. "I'm fine."  
"I'm seeing the telltale signs, Alex."  
"Of what?"  
"Of you liking someone again."

I chuckled. "I'm demisexual, John. The only person who I'm close enough to feel romantic attraction for is you, and that ship has sailed since you contracted an STD."  
"Have not."  
"Sure, John."

We ventured outside, and soon arrived at the pizza place. The board had been broken since we joined college, but we were told that it used to say 'Upstate', as the place was elevated over the college.   
"Hi, John," Peggy said, and gave him a deep kiss. John looked at me after the kiss was over, and whispered, "This is what you missed out on, Hamilton."  
"Should I tell Peggy you said that, John?" I said, loud enough within Peggy's earshot.  
"Tell me what, Alexander?" Peggy replied.  
"Nothing, no," I chuckled as John gave me the ultimate stink eye.

Soon we were joined by Laf, Hercules, and Madison.   
"What's the news for Burr, Jamie?"  
"He's still a little shook," James replied, clearly not understanding his use of the term. Laf and I started laughing, and was soon interrupted by Jefferson's entry.

I turned to John and hissed, "Why didn't you tell me he was going to be here?"  
"I assumed you knew," John replied.  
"How would I know?!"  
"We're all friends, Alex. The both of you are just insufferably mad at each other all the time, but that shouldn't stop all of us from enjoying some time together."

I huffed and Jefferson flashed me a smile to acknowledge my presence. I blew a raspberry at him and everyone collectively groaned.  
"One evening, mon ami," said Laf, and started digging into his slice. "One evening."

And it was a pretty good evening. Jefferson and I both decided to act like debate class didn't exist and we didn't know each other, and all of us laughed at Peggy's stories about how Eliza was helpless after she met Alec Henry, and how Angelica set them up after Eliza decided to whine about it for weeks on end.

It was about 11 PM when we decided to get a move on and go back to our dorms. John, however, took off with Peggy and after a few rounds of 'ooh's I was left wondering how I would access my apartment, because he had the keys.

"Laf - Laf!" I yelled, trying to get his attention.  
"Yes, mon ami?"  
"Can I sleep in your dorm tonight? John took the keys."  
"No, I don't have a couch. I could ask Hercules, though."  
"But he rooms with Jefferson!"  
"Do you want to sleep outside today, Alex?"

I sighed. "Fine, Laf."  
Laf asked Hercules and of course, he agreed. So I was stuck with Hercules and Jefferson the whole way back.  
"Hamilton," Jefferson said, "We can work together tomorrow for the debate."  
"Sure, Jeff," I smirked, knowing how he hates that nickname.  
"Remember what I promised you this morning, Hamil-shit."

I went silent and followed Hercules and Jefferson to their dorm. Hercules gave me pillows and a blanket for the couch, and I made myself at home. Soon, my eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.

I was awoken very rudely in the middle of the night by a half-asleep Jefferson almost crashing into me as he made his way into the kitchen.  
"What the hell, Jefferson?"  
"Just needed some water, Alex."

Alex?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk


	4. Movies?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slipping and societal things make things weird.

Jefferson's POV

I was jolted awake very rudely when Hamilton decided to make an appearance in the library.   
"Hammy, what are you doing here so late?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "We were supposed to be at the library in the morning, or do you not remember?"  
"Unlike you, Jefferson, I had plans for a Saturday morning," he replied, rummaging in his bag, probably looking for his laptop. "I had to go get keys from a very naked John and then change into good clothes. I don't want to look like you, after all."

I scoffed. "You wish you looked like me."  
"I really don't, Jeff."

I felt my cheeks turn red at the nickname, and thankfully Hamilton didn't notice. Jeff used to be my one and only girlfriend's nickname for me, and that didn't end too well.

"So, murder trials -"

Hamilton and I started working on our points and soon the harsh afternoon light turned into twilight. The practice in front of Mr Washington was on Monday, and I desperately wanted to win just to shut Hamilton up.

"Well, look at the time," Hamilton said, finally looking up from his notebook. "It's late. I should get back."  
"Hmm," I agreed, and started to pack up my things.

"Listen, Jefferson," Hamilton said, "I'm hungry. I'm going to the cafeteria to get some food. Do you want to join?"  
I knew he was only inviting me because of societal pressure, but truth be told, I was starving as well, and torturing Hamilton with my presence for the next hour without any work to distract us seemed like a great way to pass some time.

"Sure, Lexi," I replied, and internally chuckled at Hamilton's horrified expression.  
"Lexi?!"  
"Yes, Lexi. Just because you're such a sweetheart."

Hamilton huffed and began to walk towards the cafeteria and I followed him. It sure would've looked like a strange sight to people who didn't know us, having a 6'2" man following a 5'7" gremlin. Not that Hamilton looked like one, of course - he usually dressed very well, with layers of gray shirts and green hoodies being his staples.  
Wait, what? Why do I know that?

I just went along with him and sat down at a table. Rain was approaching, and I didn't mind that I didn't bring an umbrella. I loved getting wet in the rain, especially during my vacations in Monticello. My siblings and I used to dance around and sing, but that's a secret only we know.

Hamilton didn't seem to notice the dark clouds and just sat down with two coffee cups and two croissants.  
"Croissants?" I asked. "What kind of Francophile -"  
"Shut up, Jefferson. Lafayette introduced me to them. Besides, you're the one who goes to Paris every summer."  
I shrugged and picked up the croissants. They were really good, and the silence that ensued was also very comfortable. In classic Hamilton fashion, however, he decided to open his mouth.

"So, Jefferson, are you looking forward to any trysts recently?"  
I was taken aback by this statement. Why would he want to know?  
"First off, who even says 'tryst' anymore? And second, no. And third, why would you want to know?"  
"It's a Saturday night, Jefferson. As a concerned classmate, I am asking you this question as we cannot mess up on Monday."  
"Keep your concerns to yourself. I'm going home, making mac and cheese, and watching Mindhunter."  
"Oh, with Jonathan Groff?"  
"How did you know?"  
"I watch it too. I've been wanting to watch the second season but Peggy and Laurens are hogging the living room."  
"Do you want to watch with me?" I asked in a split second, and then realized what I said. Why did I just invite Hamil-shit to watch a show with me, that too about murderers? 

Hamilton seemed to have the same kind of reaction to this question, and could barely disguise the confusion in his face. Then, with very apparent concern for my well-being, he said, "Sure, Jefferson."  
"Fine then, Hamilton. You're paying for the popcorn, then."  
"Didn't you say you'd make mac and cheese?"  
"Not for you, Hammy Boy."  
He crossed his arms and was in the formative stages of blowing a raspberry when I laughed and said, "Fine, for you too."

Hamilton was caught off-guard once again and I reveled in his confusion once more. This was a lot of fun.  
"Follow me, Lexi, and we'll go to my dorm."  
"Wait, let me get my clothes from mine before John locks himself in and hangs a sock on the door."

I agreed and we walked towards his dorm, which was in the building next to mine. He quickly invited me in to his couch and disappeared into his room. I took in the surroundings - it was quintessential Hamilton - books lying around, papers on the coffee table and whatnot. I then spotted a bottle of rum near the refrigerator, which was very out of character for Hamilton.  
"Hey, Hammy," I yelled. "What's with the fancy rum?"  
"That's John's," he yelled back.   
I was about to take a picture of it when I heard a barely discernible whisper, "As if I could afford it."  
I felt bad for him, at that point. The kid was an orphan and didn't have anyone in his corner when he was growing up in the Caribbean, and could barely manage to come to King's College, that too with free tuition. And here I was, asking a question that could be misconstrued (and probably was) as a taunt.  
I was heartless, after all.

Hamilton came out of his room with what looked like an overnight bag, with the head of a toothbrush poking out.   
"So are we having an elementary school-style sleepover or what?" I asked, chuckling at the sight of his prepared-ness.   
"Shut up, Jefferson. This is a just-in-case for John's insatiable love for weemen."  
"Weemen. Got it. After the ice-cream machine?"

He groaned, locking the door. "John told you that too?"  
"No, Madison did, after he heard it from Hercules, who heard it from Laf, who heard it from John."  
"I'm going to kill him."  
"No, you're not."

We bickered on the way to my dorm. I noticed that Hamilton didn't pack an umbrella, which would be a shame because if it rained he would be stuck at my dorm. He surely hadn't noticed the impending storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the storm chapter. :)


	5. Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the storm chapter. Trigger warning for anxiety attack - but this one isn't full fledged

Hamilton's PoV

I sat on one side of the couch while Jefferson sat on the other. Thankfully, the couch was very long and comfortable unlike the horrible magenta colour would suggest, so the two of us could co-exist without any disagreements. Jefferson's legs were long enough to reach mine, on the other side, and I could feel the one inch of distance between our limbs but decided against bringing it up.

Suddenly, I heard a boom.   
I looked behind me towards the window and was immediately assaulted by memories.   
The hurricane, with its lightning, that took everyone I loved from me.   
I let out a breath and slipped to the floor, and blocked my ears with my hands.

Jefferson was engrossed in the show.

I could handle this, I thought to myself. It's just a storm. Just a storm.   
I heard my phone buzzing and immediately realized it was John. He knew me well enough to check up on me. I couldn't take anymore noises right now, so I chose to ignore it.

Another lightning bolt strikes, and I close my eyes. I can see my village almost flooded, babies screaming, everything going -

"Hamilton?" I heard Jefferson ask.   
I started rocking back and forth.   
"What's wrong, Alexander?"

I couldn't speak. Jefferson sat down next to me took my hand. "Alexander. Alexander!"

I was slowly losing my grip on the real world, with visions of the hurricane coming back.  
"Water," I croaked, almost unable to breathe. "Floods -"  
I heard a quick breath, and felt strong arms surrounding me. I could barely understand what was going on, but the arms held me still, and I slowly got my breath back as the storm slowed down.

Once it was simply drizzling, I came back to consciousness. I looked up, and saw Jefferson's face, with a single emotion on it - concern. It was his arms that hugged my body, and I felt safe.

Wait. It was Jefferson's arms.

"Jefferson?" I whispered. "What is going on?"  
"You tell me, Alex."  
"I - I -"  
"Shh. You don't have to tell me. Just calm down."

I felt my brain giving way, and my eyes closing. It had been a long time since the flood.

It wasn't the flood again.   
It can't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The panic attack wasn't full-fledged as y'all can very well understand, just based on my experiences with avoided anxiety attacks. It's different for every person, of course, but yes. OK. Goodbye :)


	6. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anxiety attack aftermath. Jefferson helps.

Jefferson's POV

What the hell?  
Alexander Hamilton is in my arms, snoring as nothing happened. It was so confusing.  
The last thing I remember is that in the heat of the moment, I had hugged him, unsure of what to do. How did that end up in this position?  
And moreover, what happened to him?

I had never been close enough to Hamilton to know about this. So, I pulled one of my arms free and took my phone out, and called Laurens. 

"Hey, John?" I asked quietly, trying not to wake Hamilton.  
"Yes?" He sounded annoyed, probably because he was in what Hamilton would refer to as a 'tryst'.  
"I think Hamilton just had a panic attack."  
"What?!" he yelled into the phone and I could immediately hear some rustling and a female voice asking him what was wrong. Peggy, I assumed.  
"There was a storm -"  
"Why didn't he call me? Is he okay? Where is he?"  
"He's in my dorm."

I heard the phone click and soon I heard a knock at the door.  
"It's open!" I whisper-yelled, trying not to wake Alexander.  
John came in and was immediately flabbergasted by the scene in front of him.

Oh, yes. That scene. Because Hamilton's so-called arch-enemy was holding him in his arms and supporting him while he was passed out.  
It didn't matter right now, because Alexander was currently passed out.

"John? What happened?"  
"He has panic attacks in storms."  
"Why?"  
"Not my place to tell you, Thomas. It's something that happened in his childhood."  
I could hazard a guess as to what it was, but I didn't want to aggravate John.  
"So will you take him to his dorm or?"  
"Yes. Thankfully, when he passes out, he's a very deep sleeper, and there's nothing that can wake him except a fire."  
I removed my arms and John tried to balance Hamilton on his shoulder and miserably failed. I then tried to balance him with John, but I was too tall to do so. 

"I'll carry him," I offered, and picked him up bridal style. John raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he followed me to their building and into their dorm. Hamilton didn't weigh much, and it was infinitely easier than carrying Madison (long story).

I put him down in his bed and sighed.  
"Thank you for your help, Jefferson," John said. "What was he doing in your dorm in the first place?"  
"We were watching Mindhunter."  
"Alright. Nothing else, right?"  
I scoffed. "What else would it be, Laurens?"  
"As if you haven't been spending copious amounts of time together already, Jefferson. Also, just to remind you in case you get any ideas, Hamilton likes it when he knows the person he's with."  
"I know that, Turtle Boy."  
"Sure you do, Magenta Man."

I went back to my dorm, sat down and started replaying everything in my mind.  
A flood.  
I quickly unlocked my phone and searched 'Caribbean hurricane Nevis'. The search results showed a few hurricanes, but there was one in Nevis, when Hamilton would've been 17 or 18.  
So that's what he was talking about. I felt really bad for him, who wouldn't? And if he could hide this from even Lafayette and Madison, what else was he hiding?

I have to find out what was going on with Hamilton. I have to be a better friend to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a lil pointless, but I'm very happy. ALSO THANK YOU FOR READING MY SHITTY WRITING. I LOVE Y'ALL.


	7. First Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morning after! yep yep.   
> Also, trigger warning - mentions of self-harm

(Trigger warning - mentions of self-harm)

Hamilton's POV

Where was I?

The last thing I remembered was a cold hardwood floor, and this was certainly something which resembled a bed.

My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at the familiar stars on my ceiling. The bed creaked as I tried to get up, and someone opened the door. A second later, I recognized that figure as John.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"There was a storm last night."

Out of muscle memory, I brushed my hand over my left arm, and something felt missing. John must've noticed that movement, and said, "We got to you before the self-harm began."

"But how?" I asked. My memory was slowly returning. "I wasn't in here."

"You were in Jefferson's dorm," John replied. "He helped."

"Jefferson helped?"

"Yes, he did."

Jefferson helped.

Why would he help?

Come on, Alex. Who wouldn't help someone having an anxiety attack? a voice in my head said.

Jefferson wouldn't.

Why wouldn't he? He's just a human being.

Who has been nothing but mean to me since college began.

Then it must've been someone else who invited you over yesterday.

"Alex?" John asked, perturbed by my sudden silence. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

I got up and picked up my clothes.

"Is it Sunday?"

"Yes, but you had another practice session with Jefferson today if I remember correctly."

"Do I really have to see him?"

"Yes, Alex. Remember, your scholarship's on the line."

I huffed and changed into my hoodie and jeans after John left the room. Yesterday was a blur. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that I actually enjoyed spending time with Jefferson before the faithful Mr Storm appeared. All I wished for is that he didn't look at me differently after this incident. I'd never actually admit to this, but arguing with Jefferson was one of my favourite pastimes as he was the only one who could keep up with my fast train of thoughts and actually give it a run for its money.

I picked up my bags, brushed my hair and set off to the library. As I walked towards the library, I realized that I had forgotten to eat breakfast, and decided to make a stop at the cafeteria. As I was walking towards it, I caught a glimpse of floofy hair and a magenta hoodie at the counter.

Jefferson.

I opened the door and after a second, Jefferson turned around and flinched at the sight of me.

What had I done last night?

"Hey, Jeff!"

"Hey, Lexi," he said and sighed. I noticed that he had two glasses of coffee in his hand.

"Oh, Jeff's got a date, has he?" I said, supremely overcompensating for my nervous mind.

Jefferson turned red and took his change from the cashier.

"So, you have," I said. "Who is it, Jefferson?"

"Hamilton, shut up-"

"Oh, so she's a secret?"

People were staring now. I felt bad for him, but I really couldn't stop. I had dug myself into a hole here.

Damn you, Hamilton.

"It's for you," Jefferson said through gritted teeth and handed me the other cup of coffee. I could feel my face turning hot (and probably red) and gestured for him to follow me. I felt like such an asshole, and I figured I should probably apologize.

"Sorry, Jefferson," I said as we exited the cafe.

"It's fine," I heard him sigh. I turned around to look at him and he was as red-faced as before.

"I'm actually sorry. I didn't think it through, just because I never dreamed that it could be for me, we've always kind of hated each other and only John has done that, but what else could it be because I was the person you had the practice with, I'm really dumb -"

"Shut up, Hamilton," Jefferson said, following it with a chuckle.

I smiled involuntarily and quickly shut my facial muscles down. I waited for Jefferson to catch up to me and we walked towards the library, discussing tomorrow's stance handouts.

When we finally arrived, we took the stairs to Jefferson's preferred table (which I also liked) and started working on our speeches. We soon began the timing as well, Jefferson taking the for argument and me taking the against. As per usual, I exceeded the time limit.

"Narrow it down, Alex," Jefferson said absentmindedly, resetting his timer.

A chill ran down my spine.

Alex?

He had called me that before.

Not Hamilton, not Hamil-shit, not even Lexi.

Alex.

"What are you so red for?" he asked, setting his phone down.

"Alex," I blurted and covered my face. I have got to stop saying what's on my mind.

Jefferson raised an eyebrow.

"You called me Alex," I continued, having no other choice. "Alex, not Hamilton, or Alexander."

Jefferson motioned for me to sit down.

"What happened last night?" he said, in a lowered voice. "I was really worried. You passed out after muttering something about floods."

"The flood," I blurted, unable to stop tears forming in my eyes. "I had to leave Nevis because of it. My town was swept away."

Jefferson took my hand in his. It was warm and soft.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he said. "If I knew -"

"How could you?" I sniffled. "Nobody except John does."

"I promise I'll be there for you, Hamil-shit."

"Same for you, Jeffer-sob."

We both laughed, and he let go of my hand. I wiped away my tears and looked at my laptop.

"So, should we continue?"

"Sure, Alex."

I smiled. He needed a taste of his own medicine.

"Thanks, Thomas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much, for bearing with my terrible grammar skills and weird plot lines. I don't know anyone who reads this but thank you. As always, please comment if you have any suggestions :3  
> LOVE YOU


	8. Cabinet Battle 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first cabinet Battle, very badly adapted. I'm ashamed of this lol

Jefferson's POV

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

George was such an asshole sometimes. He assumed that he could make anybody do whatever he wanted, and in this case, he wanted me to do his poetry assignment.

I didn't even want to join poetry, it was the only elective left when I transferred from College de France. 

But no, George had to not put in any effort, because the only thing he had come up with so far was, "Da da da da da da, da da da dai ah da."

That's not even a line.

I cursed out my poetry teacher mentally for pairing me with him and proceeded to actually add some lines. I desperately wanted to escape, because the next class was debate, and George (Washington) wanted Alex and me to present our arguments first.

"So, Thomas, how do you fare in this glorious mission?" George asked, flipping his tailcoat and shifting his chair towards mine.

Also, did I mention? He wears a goddamned TAILCOAT. EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

How obnoxious -

My train of thoughts was suddenly cut off by the bell ringing. Saved by the blessed bell! I quickly threw my notebook into my backpack and walked off, while George kept trying to catch my attention, and calling me, "John Edems!" That pompous ass didn't even know my name. 

I almost ran to the debate classroom which was a few doors down, entered, and rested my hand on my desk and tried to catch my breath. Anything to escape from George.

"Did you just run a marathon?" I heard Alexander say.

(Alexander?)

"No, just needed to escape from George," I chuckled.

"King George?"

"Yep." 

I sat down and let out a huff. "I'm going for, right?"

"Yes."

"Good luck, Thomas."

"Good luck, Alex."

He smiled at me and coincidentally, my stomach turned. Bad day to have had bread in the morning, I think. Cereal would've been better. 

Soon the rest of the class, including Lee, James, Hercules, and Greene entered, and then Mr Washington. Today was what he called a Cabinet Battle (basically a normal for-and-against, just without questions) and they were usually exciting. Mr Washington gestured towards us as the rest of the class let out a groan, knowing that if we started we'd take up half of the class. 

"Calm down, class," Washington said, very aware of why they were opposing this choice. "I've limited them to one minute each."

Everyone straightened up and started to actively listen.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the issue on the table is the invalidity of capital punishment for murder trials. Jefferson, you have the floor."

I started my speech, making sure I had a good view of the entire audience. 

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. America represents these ideals, and we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words, enterprising men quote them, and don't be surprised you guys, because my favourite President wrote them. 

But Hamilton forgets that having capital punishments for murder trials would have the government legalize the same. Now place your bets on who that benefits - the corrupt judiciary, the very seat of government where Hamilton wants to sit."

Hamilton shook his head, and I chuckled.

"Well, if the shoe fits, wear it. If the system's corrupt, why should lives pay for it? Uh, we need rehabilitation, I'm afraid. Don't kill the ones who were supposed to repent. In the judiciary, we're supposed to help criminals be better, rehabilitate. Don't take that chance away! Capital punishment is an outrageous demand, and it's too damn authoritative for any country to withstand. 

Stand with me in the land of the free, and pray we never see Hamilton practising. Look, when liberty wasn't given, the country got frisky. Imagine what'll happen if you try to stop opportunities to be free."

Washington hit the table with his gavel, signalling that it was Hamilton's turn to start. He smirked, bowed, and began his argument. 

"Jeff, that was a real nice proposition. Welcome to the present, we're running a real nation! Would you like to join us, or stay mellow, doing whatever the hell you do in Monticello? 

If we continue with capital punishment, the state spends less taxpayer's money, more for development. How do you not get it, if we're fair and justified, the law's defined. You'd rather give it a useless investment? A civics lesson from a rich man, hey neighbour! The judiciary's corrupt because money's the saviour. 'Supposed to help criminals', 'rehabilitate', you see? Yeah, we know who's really giving the judges their salary -"

Everybody oohed and I smiled. Hamilton couldn't think of that himself, so I gave him that point to really drive his argument home. 

"And another thing, Mr Age of Enlightenment, don't lecture me about the judiciary, you ain't part of it! You think you're right, man? I've never lost in court, while you were off getting high with your rich cohort. Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the argument - tentative, there isn't a motion he can't agree with - without Madison, you're mad as a hatter, take your medicine - damn, your points are in worse shape than American prison's in! Talking there, useless as two shits. Turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits."

Mr Washington immediately hit the desk with the gavel with enough force to smash someone's skull in. "That was highly inappropriate, Hamilton. You two, take a walk." I could tell that he was pleased about the discourse, however inappropriate and graphic it was. 

"You're going to need the audience's approval, and you don't have the votes," I whispered to Hamilton as he came over. He just smiled and gestured to the audience who were passing around the voting paper and Washington was evaluating our arguments. 

Washington sighed once the paper came back. "It's a tie, once again."

The two of us laughed and high-fived (very involuntarily, may I add) and a gasp went through the audience. I imagine they were shocked by that because only Mr Washington knew that we had collaborated. 

For once, it felt good to have done something together than without each other. If we could keep this up, we could win regionals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I tried to adapt Cabinet Battle #1 and kinda failed, and I'm ashamed of this being a debate kid (who's surprised lol). But I'd just like to mention - fuck the police (and the corrupt judiciary).   
> ACAB.   
> (Yes, I'm not from the USA, but the police here aren't very tolerant either - they're sexist and Islamophobic.)THANK YOU FOR READING THIS SHITTY STORY LOL


	9. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Racism and Thomas's (kind of) Tragic Backstory™

Hamilton's POV

Jefferson was being, as usual, a prick.  
Maybe not as insufferable as before, but still a massive gigantic prick.   
"I won, Hammy," he kept saying, shoveling the audience's voting paper in my face in the next seat. "I won."  
"No, you didn't, Jeff," I replied, smiling. "I did."

"Sure, just because you've got Washington on your side," he replied mockingly. Mr Washington was definitely my favourite teacher, and him pairing me with Jefferson, which was supposed to sour my view of him, may have actually helped to show his tact and patience. After all, that did result in one of the best Cabinet Battles we've had so far. 

"Hamilton, a word," Washington called once the class had dispersed. Jefferson snuck in a discreet "Daddy's calling" before going out, and I walked towards Mr Washington.   
"Yes, sir?" I asked, fully prepared to get yelled at for my last remark.  
"I heard about your scholarship for your Masters degree," he said, gesturing to the chair. I sat down, wondering what he was going to say next. "You need this win, am I right?"  
"Yes, sir."  
"Son, I advise you keep with Jefferson for the entire tournament, not just regionals."  
"I'm not your son," I replied involuntarily, while comparing my options in my mind. Jefferson had been a very good debate partner and slightly more useful recently, and after Theodosia breaking up with him, Burr won't be up to fighting form for another fortnight at least, which is valuable time for practice. Plus, Jefferson and I always had diametrically opposed views on things, which helped the for and against, while Burr was more of a fence guy. 

"Okay, sir," I said. "Will you tell Jefferson?"  
"I'm sure he'll agree, son."  
Holding back another 'I'm not your son', I nodded and left the room, deep in my thoughts, and I hit a hard obstacle in my path. (A/N - get your mind out of the gutter, people)

"Ow!" I exclaimed, and looked ahead to see a a magenta hoodie. "What are you doing here, Jeff?"  
"Waiting for you, Hamlet," he replied, backing up and smiling at my discomfort. "Hurt yourself?"  
"Stop working out for those damn abs, Jeff," I said, fixing my hair.   
Wait, what did I just say?  
"My abs?" Jefferson chuckled. "Why were you paying attention?"  
"Shut up, Jefferson."  
"We have history next," he said, walking.   
"Why do you know my schedule?"  
"I don't, Alexander. We argue against each other in every class."  
I conceded to his point. "Where's John?"  
They say speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear, and apparently John's middle name was Lucifer as Peggy and him were right around the corner -  
"Canoodling," Jefferson said, wrinkling his nose. "What else would you expect?"  
"Canoodling?" I laughed. "How old are you?"  
"Very funny, Hamilton. At least Peggy has lasted a little more than a week now."  
"Good for her."  
"Maybe this is it," Jefferson offhandedly remarked. 

I looked at him and the two of us started laughing hysterically, breaking Jeggy's bubble of silence.   
Jeggy's a good name for their relationship. Or Pohn. No, not Pohn.   
I kept giggling as John turned around and flipped us off, and Peggy piped up, "Is it time yet?"  
"Yes," Jefferson replied, composing himself. "We should go in."  
John and Peggy joined us and we entered class, and sat in our usual formation - John in the middle, me on the right side, and his girlfriend (Peggy for the time being) on the left, except -

"What do you think you're doing, sitting next to me?" I asked, turning to my right.  
"John Adams and Charles Lee are sitting in the seats James and I sit in, Hamilton," Jefferson replied. "And I don't want to sit next to Henry Knox."  
"Get off your high horse, Jeff."  
"Stop being an asshole, Ham."

"Pet names now, is it?" John said, scowling at me.   
Both Jefferson and I scoffed, and that's when Mr Franklin entered class. We started concentrating on the lecture for today about slavery, and I could feel the class's eyes on Jefferson as his family had held on to their slaves the longest in America. Even after the Emancipation Proclamation, the Jefferson ancestors had promoted white supremacist propaganda, and Thomas was very distanced from his grandparents after his father had married an African-American woman. Madison had told me enough for me to feel really bad for him, and by the look on his face, he wasn't feeling very good either. 

"Hey, Thomas," I whispered. "You okay?"  
"I can't have this many people looking at me like this," he said, and I heard a small sniffle from his head on the desk. Was he crying?

"It's fine," I kept whispering. "It's not your fault, you know that."  
"Sally broke up with me after meeting my grandparents, you know."  
"You can't control what they think, Thomas. You're not racist, and you know that."  
"Thanks," he said, and started scribbling.

Jefferson's state made me feel really bad for him, and I resolved to get him a magenta-colored straw to maybe cheer him up later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA - I am not American, I know almost nothing of American history, all I know is that the giant statue of Abraham Lincoln is not proportional.   
> Also, I'm a hoe for Hamilton comforting Thomas and not the other way around.   
> Please do give kudos and comment if you have corrections or suggestions <3


	10. Overprotective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is mad at Jefferson because he's an overprotective lil freckly cloud. Also Jefferson is lying to himself but what's new eh

Jefferson's POV

"Ow ow ow ow ow!" I screamed as Laurens grabbed my collar and pushed me against the wall. "Stop, Laurens!"

I guess I should recapitulate.   
After class ended, I received a text from John asking me to meet him after classes were over in the main hallway, after our friends had left. I was sure he wanted to ask me something about his girlfriend since I know Angelica well (and regret ever talking to her) and I complied, only to be accosted by him and pushed up against the wall. I regret coming here.

"What do you want to do with Alex?" he asked, very loudly, may I add.   
"What?" I replied, clearly confused.

Laurens set me down and dusted himself off. "Do you like him?" he asked (in a very non-threatening way).  
"What? No!" I said.  
"Then why are you hanging out with him?"  
"Can't I discuss debate things with my debate partner?"  
"But this isn't just debate things is it? Sitting next to each other, bringing him coffee, taking care of him during an anxiety attack, Jeff and Ham?!" he stared at me accusingly.  
"Honest to God, John, I don't like him."

John let out a sigh of an undefined emotion. "He's very fragile."  
"I know."  
"You better not be messing with him. If you do something to hurt him, you will meet the business end of my bayonet."  
"You have a bayonet?"  
"Yes, for research purposes, and you'll be my research subject."

"Honestly, John, I don't have any ulterior motives. Hamilton is nice, and he isn't as assholic as he used to be, and I think we're becoming friends. Besides, let me remind you that I'm not his friend, and I don't even know him well enough for him to have feelings for me."  
"Fair enough. But if you hurt him -"  
"Yes, business end of the bayonet."

"And Thomas," John looked at me with worry in his eyes, "If it comes down to you and him, choose him."  
"If what comes down to us?"  
John sighed. "Nothing. Let's go to our dorms."

I followed John and we walked towards the dorm in utter silence, and I was trying to understand why he said those things. Why would I like Hamilton? I mean he's a good debater and a nice human, I guess, and he's kinda cute. But that's about it.   
I didn't like him, not in that way.

When I arrived to my building and bid John goodbye, I went inside to find Hercules and Madison playing video games, Hercules screaming off his head and Madison quietly trying to figure out how the controller worked.

"Hey, Mads, I need to talk to you," I said, pulling him away from the living room. Hercules was too engrossed in the game to notice.  
"Thanks for saving me," James said. "Those little buttons -"  
"Do I seem off to you lately?" I interrupted him.  
"The truth?"  
"Always."  
"It looks like you and Hamilton have something special."

I recoiled from the statement.   
"What do you mean, special?"  
"Like you're dating, Thomas."  
"But we're not. I don't like him."  
"I'm sure you don't, but that's not what it looks like."  
"I need to stay with him for regionals."  
"I know. Just don't fall for him, because you know he can't return those feelings for you."  
"Yes, Jem. Yes."

I let Madison return to his confused state of gaming and went into my room, and lay on the bed.   
I didn't like Hamilton.   
Of course I didn't like him. And he didn't like me either, because he didn't know me like that.  
Yes, of course.  
I didn't like him.

I decided to take a nap, and to not dwell on this. I changed into my pajamas and got under the covers and soon my eyes shut. 

I didn't like Alexander Hamilton. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh poor Jeff, no.   
> Please continue to read and kudos and comment :)


	11. Ice Cream??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tells Thomas about his history with John. This is more of a filler chapter lol

Hamilton's POV

Two weeks had passed, and there was only one until regionals.   
Unfortunately, the stress hadn't helped with Jefferson's absolute annoying ass.

"No, Jefferson, if we're talking about nuclear non-proliferation, we cannot condone nuclear wars!"  
"That's the only point that will work in this context!"  
"If you don't want to go against, just give it to me."  
"And have Mr Washington look at me with disappointment? No thank you."  
"Then find better points!"  
"Hamilton, this is a completely reasonable point! Nobody cares about the implication of one sentence I say!"

Jefferson and I were neck to neck - well, head to Adam's Apple. I wanted to kill him, and but there was something else on my mind, and that feeling was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say it.  
Jefferson turned around and sat down. Thankfully we weren't in the library and we could scream all we wanted - Mr Washington had loaned us his office on the weekends after we got kicked out of the library last week. It was always fascinating to see how the kids skirted around us nowadays, because most of the time, we were either discussing debate like no tomorrow, or ready to rip each other's throat out, and this led to very weird interactions. 

"Hamilton! Do you want to go to Upstate and get some pizza? You sound hungry," Jefferson said, closing his laptop. I suspected that it was actually him who was hungry, and he didn't want to take the responsibility of luring us away from work.   
"Jefferson, if you're hungry, just say it."  
"Am not."  
"Are too."  
I shut my notebook and began to pack up. "Whatever, Jeff. If you say so."  
"And I do say so."

I sighed and we made our way down to Upstate, where we sat down and had a few slices of pepperoni pizza and talked about random stuff, including the fact that poor Eliza had been cheated on by Alec Henry, again.  
"So, Hammy," Jefferson cooed after he paid the check, "I think I'll return a favor."  
"What?" I was very confused and took a sip of my Coca-Cola. "What favor?"  
"Remember when you asked me if I had any trysts? I'm going to embarrass you now."  
"What?"  
"What happened with the ice-cream machine?"  
I choked on a sip of my drink. "What?"  
"With Laurens."  
"I thought - I thought you knew."  
"No, I've just heard it abstractly referred to."  
"Do I have to do this?"  
"No, but then there will be consequences."  
"What kind?"

Jefferson smiled and said, "I'll tell everyone about the fact that you liked Angelica."  
"That's not true," I defended, trying not to look like I was bothered.  
"Let's see what they think," Jefferson smirked. "EVERYONE -"

"Alright, alright," I conceded and pulled his arm. "I'll tell you."  
"Lay it on me."  
I took a deep breath. "I told John I liked him during high school, and it was in a crowded hallway because I was scared. Without saying a word, he took me down to the deserted cafeteria and told me that he wanted to try kissing me, because he wasn't sure of his sexuality, and we kissed near the ice-cream machine -"  
"Did you get frisk-ay?"  
"Shut up, Jefferson. Do you want to hear this or not?"  
He shook his head, his little curls bouncing with his movements.  
"John pulled out and said that was the most disappointing kiss he'd ever had, in what I can now understand was a joke, and I got so embarrassed that I tried to run away and knocked down the ice cream machine, and then Laurens had to pay a giant fine."  
"But you were the one who knocked it down."  
"I couldn't pay the fine, you idiot."  
Jefferson nodded again. "Why do you not talk about this?"  
"Because it's embarrassing. I was the worst kiss John's ever had."  
"He was joking, you idiot."  
"I'm sure there was some level of truth in it."

Jefferson stared at me for a second, and said very nonchalantly, "I'm sure someone will prove him wrong one day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nobody really cares about these author's notes, but one thing I'll say - the last sentence is one to remember :)  
> As always, comment, kudos and share <3


	12. Regionals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ham and Jeff at regionals, and maybe something happens?!

Jefferson's POV

Hamilton was currently snoring in the passenger's seat and I couldn't do anything about it. I was the one who suggested that we go over our final notes for the debate tournament on the way in the car, but I did not count on this.   
"Hamilton," I whispered, keeping my eyes on the road. "Hamilton!"

That was of absolutely no use as he just kept on snoring. I didn't want to babysit a grown man-child who was too non-stop for his own good. I have a sneaking suspicion that he had stayed up all night trying to memorize his speech, against my explicit instructions, and I planned to berate him thoroughly after we woke up.  
"Hamilton!" I whisper-screeched, and that seemed to have some sort of usefulness, as he immediately woke up with a start. 

"What happened?" he asked, rubbing his eyes, as I chuckled and made a turn. He was sort of cute right now, as he wasn't yelling.  
"You were sleeping, you idiot," I said and passed my water bottle to him. "We're almost there."  
"No! What happened to the points?" He looked around feverishly to find his notes.  
"Calm down, you'll be fine." I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and Hamilton laughed. "You look like Lafayette, you know."  
"He's my cousin, you dumbass."  
He smiled. "It's still uncanny."

We made the final turn to the host college and I parked the car while Hamilton read out our notes one last time. After getting out of the car, Hamilton and I walked to the nearest entrance and finally made our way to the auditorium.   
"It's big, isn't it?" He said, looking around.   
"That's what she said," I replied, cackling.   
Hamilton elbowed me on the side and walked towards the stage, immediately being greeted by the usher human (I still haven't figured out what to call them) and I followed them to our designated table. There were a bunch of people around from other colleges, including our main competition, from Queen's College. (A/N - I don't know shit about US colleges, and I'm too lazy to look things up, so pls forgive me.)

Hamilton looked stressed, and I was kinda stressed too, but I decided to help him instead. My stress does not make an appearance on stage, but it looks like Hamilton's is.   
"What's wrong, Alex?" I murmured, running my hands down his back. That had worked the last time he was nervous on that night, and I really wanted him to not freak out again.   
"What if we lose?" He whispered, sniffling quietly.   
"We won't," I reassured him. "Just you wait."

He smiled a little and continued reading his notes, as I did mine, but I decided to put my hand on his arm, in a purely platonic way, of course. He's told me that John used to do that during high school when he was bullied, and it helped him keep control of reality, and I really didn't want him to stress too much. 

The moderator began the debate and a couple of speeches later, it was almost our turn, Hamilton's, to be exact. I suddenly felt a very sweaty hand grip mine, and I heard him say, "I have to win this."  
"You will, Alex," I whispered back, and his hand relaxed.   
"You sure?" He looked at me, and at that moment, the strangest feeling happened in my stomach.   
Butterflies?

I brushed it aside and said, "Of course I'm sure, Alex. After all, you are non-stop."  
He sniffled one last time as the moderator called out, "King's College!" and we applauded. I knew the others wouldn't know what hit them.

Alexander put his notes on the dais and began, "Ladies and gentlemen on the jury, I'm curious, bear with me -" and proceeded to give a long speech with no time to spare, in classic Hamilton fashion. As the moderator rang the bell to indicate that he only had 30 seconds left, he went into a whole different argument and somehow managed to finish it as well. 

I was up next, and finished within my time, and received a proper round of applause from the audience. When I went back, and the next person started speaking, I looked at Alexander and he was writing again, getting points for the rebuttal round. I knew he would jot down questions for the proposition too, so I relaxed until the debate was over. 

I asked a couple of questions in the rebuttal round while Hamilton raised questions to every single one of the opposition speaker's speeches, and some were left gobsmacked by the complexity of the questions. I silently thanked Mr Washington for putting him on the same team as me, because I was the only one that escaped Hammy's questions. 

The judges went out of the room to deliberate, and I could see Hamilton sweating next to me.   
"You did well, Ham Slice," I said, trying to diffuse the tension and get a laugh out of him.   
"I sure as well hope so," he replied, fidgeting with his hands. "My scholarship depends on this."  
"Well, I really enjoyed this," I said, not knowing what to say. "It's a pity Burr'll be back."  
Hamilton turned around and stared at me for a second. "Mr Washington hasn't told you?"  
"Told me what?"  
"We're a team till nationals."  
"Oh no," I said mockingly. "That is terrible."  
"Suck a dick, Jefferson."  
I chuckled and straightened (A/N - sure, jeff) as the judges came back into the room, holding what I could only presume was the marking sheet. 

Hamilton gripped my arm with such force that his nails started digging into my epidermis, but I ignored it.  
"In third place, we have Barnard."  
We clapped out of compulsion, while the team went up and accepted their certificates.

"In second place, we have Queen's."  
Alexander whispered, "There's no way we're getting first."  
"Shh," I said, watching the judges closely as they gave them their certificates. 

"And in first place, advancing to nationals, is -"  
Hamilton's grip on my arm somehow got tighter -  
"King's College!"

I heard a small gasp from Alex as the two of us got up. At this point, I was operating out of pure muscle memory, unable to believe what was happening. I won a debate with Hamilton. 

I won, with Hamilton. 

We took the trophy in our hands as the photographer took a picture, and sat back down at our seats, letting the end of the debate finish. I could hear Hamilton hyperventilating and I could only concentrate on his breath.   
In, and out.  
In, and out. 

The auditorium emptied as we sat in our seats, accepting congratulations from our opponents. At one point, Hamilton texted Mr Washington, and was now tugging on my suit jacket to go to the washroom.   
"Go alone," I said.  
"No, I want a picture with the trophy and it's too embarrassing in public."  
"The photographer will upload the pictures."  
"It'll be too late."  
"Fine."

We went to the washroom where Hamilton struck a bunch of stupid poses holding the trophy, including but not limited to a recreation of saltbae which he later wanted to Photoshop. (A/N - forgive me, my meme knowledge is regrettably just musicals and tumblr textposts) 

"Hey, come here," Hamilton said, and I shuffled to his side, handing him his phone. He told me to strike a pose and took a very bad mirror selfie of us, and I kept laughing. 

"Don't post that," I said, tears almost coming out of my eyes. "Please."  
"I will," he said, also dying of laughter.

We fixed ourselves up and kept giggling, and I turned around to walk out. I heard a small exhale and turned back around to say, "Hamilton -" and soon got cut off by a pair of lips to mine, fireworks exploding in my stomach. 

What the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After eleven chapters, the first one happens, and I'm a lil evil to leave y'all on a cliffhanger, but I ain't Rick Riordan and I'll be back probably tomorrow or even today. Have a merry Cliffhanger Christmas :3


	13. Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They kinda sort it out? But not really because Thomas is an idiot

Hamilton's POV

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING  
WHY AM I KISSING JEFFERSON   
WHY DO I LIKE IT

Jefferson snaked his hands through my hair and I felt my questions dissolve into the kiss, deepening it. I put my hands on his shoulders, and the butterflies in my stomach seem to fly around and lay eggs -

Jefferson. I was kissing Jefferson.

I pulled away and stared at him for a second, with his swollen lips and a confused face. My hair was a complete mess and I couldn't say a word.   
I don't know what came over me. When Jefferson turned around, my brain urged me to go to him and kiss him, and my body followed suit.

What was I thinking?

"Alex, what were you thinking?" Jefferson asked, wiping his hand over his lips, which were still very pink.   
"I don't know," I replied, and put my head in my hands. "I really don't know."

He took a step near me, and asked, "Did that have any feelings behind it?"  
"I don't know, Jeff," I said, sighing. "I don't know, at all, what is happening. The last person I liked was John, and I sort of understood when I did, but this, I really don't know -"  
"Alex, Alex, calm down," he said, and fixed his hair. "Listen, if you're not sure of your feelings, there's no pressure for you to figure them out. I'm not sure either, I mean that kiss was -"  
"Amazing, spectacular?" I snickered. "Which one are you searching for?"  
"Shut up, Ham Sandwich," Jeff smiled. "I don't know how I feel about you, but there's definitely something that is preventing me from hating you, and for me, that would be enough."

I smiled. "I'm sorry, once again."  
"Don't be, Ham cordon bleu," he replied, smiling.  
"There is no way that is a thing."  
"I thought I was the Francophile."  
"At least you know where France is."

I chuckled and walked out of the washroom, Jefferson in tow. After we got in the car, Jefferson started playing some songs from Clipping and Taylor Swift, and I quickly shot a text to Laurens. 

Alex - I think I just kissed Jefferson and he kissed me back

Jacky - I'm going to kill him

Alex - No, don't, I kissed him first

Jacky - What the fuck, Alex?

Alex - I think I like him

Jacky - No, you don't  
You hate him, remember?

Alex - We won! Together!

Jacky - Still not a reason to like him

Alex - I'm not sure that I like him, jeez, John, lighten up

Jacky - Just don't tell anyone, and tell him to not tell Mads

Alex - Why

Jacky - Because who knows what Thomas thinks about this?

Alex - He told me that he wasn't sure of his feelings either

Jacky - I don't want to see you hurt, that's all

Alex - I understand, Johnny  
Get a few pizzas for Laf, Herc and I, we're having a celebration sleepover today 

Jacky - You win all the time, you dumbass

Alex - No, but this one's special

Jacky - Shut up

I locked my phone and noticed Jefferson mouthing along to Shake It Off.  
"Honestly, not that surprising," I said, elbowing him in the arm. "Of course you like Taylor Swift."  
"She makes me feel things."  
"Me too. 1989 or Reputation?"  
"1989, all the way."  
"What the hell? Reputation, any day."  
"But 1989 has better songs -"  
"So you just discredit Gorgeous and Dress like that?"  
"Oh, so you're telling me that Welcome to New York isn't the best song on the track?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a long chapter I know but the last one was long and the next one will be too.  
> ALSO. SO MANY HITS?! I JUST WANT TO HUG Y'ALL Y'ALL ARE AMAZING


	14. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is an idiot confirmed, plus there's a lil domestic fluff.

Jefferson's POV

"Mads, Mads, Mads!" I whined, pulling his hoodie from the back.   
"I warned you," he said, coughing into a handkerchief, "And then you ignore me, so what am I supposed to do?"  
"I didn't tell him that I liked him," I defended.  
"But you kissed him back, even though you know he can't return those feelings. And now I have to deal with a pining Thomas and awkwardness during classes, which is somehow worse than you being at each other's throats."  
"Didn't you write a bunch of essays with him? Then you know how it is."  
"Thomas, I don't undress him with my eyes every time he passes by."  
"I don't."  
"Y'all need a love coach, I swear."  
"Shut up, women are falling for me left and right."  
"Oh, then Angelica must be non-binary."  
I rubbed my cheek in remembrance of that terrible day that she slapped me after I was forced to go against equal rights for women in debate class. Mr Washington hates me, I swear.   
"Shut up, Mads."  
"Oh, I will."  
"No, no," I whined again. "Help."

I heard a ding from my cellphone and checked the notification.  
"There's a celebration sleepover at Lauren's today, Hercules won't be here," I said.   
"I got the same text from Laf, but he invited us over, you won too," James said, chuckling. 

"I can't go!"  
"Sure you can."  
"No."  
"I'm not leaving you here, Thomas. You will overdose on mac and cheese and red wine."  
"That sounds fun."  
"Until tomorrow when you cannot move and I have to deal with you whining about your stomach pain."  
I blew a raspberry in his direction. "Mads, I can't see Alexander now."

"Sure you can. You don't like him, remember?"  
I sighed. "Stop being snarky, Mads."  
"Stop being an idiot, Thomas."

I was dragged out by a very strong Jem and soon he was knocking on the door of Laurens's dorm. I was acutely aware of the blush that was creeping to my cheeks as I heard Hamilton's laugh from inside. The door was opened by -  
"Hercules Mulligan!" Mads exclaimed, shocked. "It's not winter, stop with the beanie. You will catch a cold."  
"Good, it'll be like winter," he rumbled, inviting us inside. I could see Laf's ponytail as it bobbed around laughing, and Laurens looked straight at me, staring into my very soul.

I gulped. Did he know?

And to my right - Alexander.  
He was wearing a green T-shirt with some sort of Star Wars quote on it, and a pair of sweatpants, his hair mussed.  
I think I did that.

Alex's face morphed as his eyes caught mine, into one of confusion. "What're you doing here?" He said, in a playful tone, but I could feel the pointedly pointed question to me.   
"Laf invited us over."  
"He won too, mon ami," Laf piped up, taking a swig from his red solo cup.

"Where'd you get the cup?" Mads asked, and pulled me down to sit on the ground. "I see nothing like that near this college."  
"Romcoms told me this is what we were supposed to have," Lad defended, and Hercules shook his head, saying, "We should've never let you watch Mean Girls."

I giggled and crossed my legs.   
"So, Thomas," Laurens said, still staring daggers at me, "what's up with you?"  
"I'm just happy," I said, smiling, trying to hide my fear.  
"About the win, right?"

"Leave him alone, Laurens," Laf said. "Let him celebrate."  
"What are we watching?" Alex said, his eyes glued to the remote.  
"I think we're watching all instalments of Twilight today," Madison said, smirking.  
Everyone groaned. "No, Jem, no," Laurens pleaded. "Please, no."

"Harry Potter it is," Alex said, turning on the first movie.

By the third hour, Jem and Hercules were snoring on each other's shoulders, Laf and Laurens were cuddled together (with Peggy's permission) and Alex and I were sitting right next to each other, munching on Cheetos from a communal Cheeto bag.   
"Yes, yes, save him!" Alex screamed at the screen, and I chuckled. He'd been doing that since Harry set the snake on Dudley.   
I dug around in the communal Cheeto bag and realized that it was over, and elbowed Alex. "Get the other bag!"  
Alex scoffed and stretched his arm to reach it and somehow brought it over. He tore it open with his teeth, and I pretend-gagged.   
"I don't want your saliva in my mouth, Ham Slice."  
"You didn't mind this afternoon, Jeff." He smirked.

I gasped. "That's low, Ham and Cheese."  
"I know."

He turned around and I found myself admiring his little waves, while he noisily munched on the Cheetos.   
"Do I have something on my face?" He said, breaking me out of my reverie.  
"Yes, a bunch of Cheeto dust."

Alex snickered and we kept watching the movie, until we eventually fell asleep, his head resting on my shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda filler but not really, I guess, I just wanted to show a cute bicker-y moment for Jamilton, plus, so many hits and kudos!!!!! y'all continue to amaze me, please keep reading and voting and commenting <3


	15. Halloween Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson has a one-stop shop costume, and Hammy Boy decides to reference a meme.

Hamilton's POV

"Jeff, we have no time!" I screamed, trying to make him understand.   
"Nationals are in three months," he said nonchalantly.

"THREE MONTHS!"  
"Stop screeching, Glazed Ham. Your neighbours must file a lot of noise complaints."  
"Shut up, Jeff."

"Look," he said, shifting on the couch. "Halloween is in two days, and I really don't want to think about Nationals now. I can't believe I have to spend that much time with you."  
I smacked him. "You enjoy it."  
"Somehow I do, Hamil-shit. Somehow I do."

We adjusted into our usual positions on the couch - me slumping over one handle of the magenta monstrosity, legs spread towards the coffee table, and Jefferson inclined over the other, his legs spread over the rest of the couch. Usually, after we fell asleep, our legs and hands would entangle themselves, but that was an unconscious entanglement that I had only previously done with Laurens. Speaking of John-

"I noticed you only used plastic straws, Jefferson," I said, drawling out the 'plastic', "And you're killing turtles."  
"We live in New York City, no turtles surround us. Except for John."  
"Anyway, I decided to get you a little present, as a thank-you for being not so assholic over the past few weeks."  
I took out a metal magenta straw from my backpack, and Jefferson squeaked in surprise. 

"Yes, Jeff, it's that terrible colour you seem to love so much."  
"Says the guy sitting very comfortably on that colour of couch."  
"The colour has nothing to do with my comfort, although it does hurt my eyes."  
"Shut up, Ham Pie."

I chuckled. "Ham Pie doesn't even make sense. Here," I said, handing him the straw and its accompanying straw brush cleaner.   
"Why is the thing so prickly?" He asked, examining the cleaner.  
"It's used to clean the inside of the straw, you idiot."

He got up, poured himself a cup of water, and stuck the straw inside it.  
"No, you dumbass, clean it first!" I yelled into the kitchen.  
"It's fine," he said, slurping the water up. "Thanks, Alex."  
"You're welcome," I said, smiling.

"Hamilton," he said tentatively, "I have nobody to go with for Halloween shopping."  
"Mads?" I asked inquisitively.  
"He has a date, with Angelica, of all people."  
"Angie will talk his ears off. Just like you, Thomas."

He chuckled. "My point was since John and Peggy are somehow still together and John hates me -"  
"Yeah, I don't know why," I interrupted.  
"- I need someone to go with me, to stop me from being Blackbeard for another year."

I got up from the couch and curtsied, "At your service, m'lord."  
"Glad to hear it, Ham Wrap."  
"Now you're just making up recipes."

We finished watching Eat Pray Love and Jefferson wiped his tears away. I sent a text to John asking where he was, and he sent back a sock emoji.  
"Ugh, Jeggy's back at it," I groaned, while Jeff smiled.   
"So we can go now," he smiled and threw my green jacket at me. "Let's go."  
"No, I'm tired," I whined.  
"It is 3:30 on a Saturday afternoon, Hamil-sleep. Now let's go."

I reluctantly got up and put my jacket on, following Jefferson to his car. After blasting Taylor Swift and enduring Jeff's voice during Lover, we finally arrived at the costume store.

"Alright, I'm going in," Jeff whispered in a secret agent voice and dragged me along. I passed a few costumes and immediately spotted the perfect one for Jefferson, but I decided to wait. 

He then proceeded to try out a pirate costume ("Blackbeard? More like Bore-beard"), a Ghostbusters costume ("You wear that, you'll be the one ghosted") and finally, came out in a unicorn onesie.  
"You feeling horny, Jeff?" I asked, trying to hold my laughter in.  
"Shut up," he said, blushing. "I like onesies."  
"Me too."

"Anyway, I already found one perfect for you," I said, smiling. I went over to the rack and pulled it out.

"A surgeon?" Jeff asked, his beautiful brown eyes crinkling.  
"Of course, there's a part of it missing," I said, giggling. "Just get this and I'll get mine."

When Jeff went inside to try it, I quickly ran to the next aisle to grab mine, went into the next stall and put mine on. It didn't take much time, and I heard Jefferson rattling the door and rushed out as well.

As soon as Jefferson's eyes caught mine, he doubled over in laughter.  
"A-a grape?" He managed to say within laughs. "Alex -"  
"It's genius, isn't it?" I said, giggling.

"They did surgery on a grape," Thomas squealed. "God, Hamilton, if I wasn't dressed in a costume I haven't bought yet I would hug you."  
"I know, Jeff, I'm amazing," I said cockily.  
"You look good in purple, you know."

I blushed. "Get these, Jeff."  
He chuckled and we quickly changed out of our costumes and bought them. Thomas and I were still chuckling when we got home, and I insisted on taking these to my dorm to wash them.   
"Who knows who's worn them?"  
"You are too worried about your own good, Hamil-dip."  
"What was that?"  
"I don't know either. Good night."  
"Good night, Jeff."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS FILLER BUT IT IS FLUFF AND I WILL NOT TAKE ANY CRITICISM I LOVE IT.  
> I got this idea from One Day at a Time when Pen meets Victor's fiancee Nicole.


	16. Halloween!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magenta and couple's costumes :)

Jefferson's POV

I have to admit that spending more time with Hamilton has made me marginally, a maximum of 10^(-11) per cent happier.  
Not that I would admit it, of course.

However, this was not one of those times.

"Hamslice, calm down, let me finish your eyeshadow," I said through gritted teeth, as Hamilton kept squirming under the brush.  
"It's poking me!"  
"It is soft and is made of horsehair, Hamilton. A baby could handle it."  
"Why aren't you cruelty-free?"  
"It's Angie's, Alex, I do not own it."  
He whipped his phone out and started typing at breakneck speed, and I sighed, swiping the phone from him and putting it on the counter. He pouted.  
"No angry texts from you right now, Alex."

"This is a weird scene to watch," Hercules commented from the couch. "Never did I think that Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton would be in a couple's costume, doing each other's makeup."  
"It's not a couple's costume," we said in sync and I groaned. "Stop distracting me, Herc, I need to blend this damn magenta shadow."  
"It's difficult, just like you," Hamilton said under his breath, and I poked him with the other end of the brush.   
"Stop squirming!"

I finally finished his makeup and surveyed my work. Alex looked like a proper glamorous grape, with a stalk fashioned out of a pool noodle. Hercules had altered his grape costume to give him a little leeway for arms, and I resented him for it - Hamilton immediately took his phone and sent a text to Angelica critiquing her choice of brush. 

"Good, now where's my scalpel?" I asked, putting my mask on. (A/N - This is set in an AU where COVID-19 does not exist, and I think all of us would like to live in that universe right now.)

Madison, red in the face, handed me my plastic scalpel and I dusted off the remnants of the eyeshadow off my scrubs. At least I got to hang out all night in literal pyjamas.

John and Peggy entered the dorm together and I immediately started laughing.  
"Why is John wearing a glass and heels?" Alex asked, also giggling. "Is he a - a tall drink of water?"  
John let out a grunt while Peggy congratulated him on being the first one to get the joke.   
"And Pegleg's a turtle, of course," Laf piped up, coming out of Herc's room. "Did you pick each other's costumes?"  
"Yes," John said. "Peggy's a Pelocholys cantorii, an Asian giant softshell turtle."  
"I recently stopped killing turtles," I remarked, taking a sip of water with my magenta straw.  
John looked at my drink and smiled. "Alex gave that to you, didn't he?"  
"Yes, how'd you know?"  
"I was the one he dragged along to find that straw, Jefferson."  
I let out a "Hmm" of acknowledgement and all of us put the final touches to our costumes. Laf adjusted his ponytail which had green hair wax all over it, and straightened the top of the leaf on his costume.  
"Leaf?" Herc asked, giggling gently. "Laf, is your costume a leaf?"

Laf nodded and all of us started laughing.  
"As if yours is the best, Herc," he replied, crossing his arms. "You're dressed as a caveman."  
"I'm dressed as Hercules, dumbass."  
"Is that was the toga is for?"  
"Alright, alright," John said, brushing his glass costume free of lint. "Let's go."

Madison adjusted his fake glasses and beckoned us to leave.   
"Real original, Mads," I whispered to him.  
"I'm Iron Man," he whispered back. "I could kill you."  
"Sure you could, Mads."

We headed to Upstate, where the Schuylers were throwing a Halloween party. We were greeted by Eliza, wearing a beautiful 1780's costume in green, and Angelica in what looked like Marie Antoinette's ballgown. Alex quickly took her to the side and by the state of her face, told her what they did to horses to get their hair, wildly exaggerated. Poor Angie.

Eliza pulled me to the side and said, "Why are you and Alex wearing a couple's costume?"  
I scoffed. "It's a pun, not a couple's costume."  
"It does look like one," she said, with a knowing smile. I say knowing because she thought she knew something, but she didn't.

"It's not, I promise."  
I went around greeting everyone and eventually opening some beer. Laf had brought his own red cup, so I stole it from his pocket and poured some into it, and Alexander came over, pouting.   
"Jeff, we need to be together, or people will think I'm Randall Boggs."  
"Who?"  
"The Monsters Inc guy."  
"But you look nothing like the Monsters Inc guy."  
"That's not the point, Jeff."  
"Yeah, yeah, okay."

I had a couple of shots and soon couldn't walk straight. Unlike my high school reputation would suggest, I didn't have a lot of tolerance for alcohol.   
And after that, everything was a blur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's time for a lil angst, and that's the next chapter. This one was a lil fluffy to hold you over for the shit about to go down in the next one, get ready lol


	17. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is confronted with a terrible sight

Hamilton's POV

"Thomas! Thomas!"  
I couldn't find Jefferson anywhere. The party was over, and I was the designated sober person (easy to do when you have so many assignments that you can never attend parties) and I was supposed to round everyone up and get them back to their dorms. I had found Jem, John, Peggy, Laf and Herc (who were very obviously making out with each other) but I had yet to find Thomas. 

I really didn't want to barge into rooms upstairs in the building that had Upstate, but most people were either passed out, or having very loud relations, so it was clear where I could enter and where I couldn't. I opened a couple of doors and found King George passed out with some random girl, and another door had Charles Lee behind it, and I had to very gingerly guide him to the washroom. (A/N - Charles Lee was left without a pot to piss in, I'm sorry lol)

Finally, I heard some quiet breathing from a room and decided it was safe to enter. And when I opened the door, I saw -

My eyes prickled with tears. I couldn't believe it.  
Jefferson, half undressed? With someone in a red devil's costume -  
Maria?

I sniffled.   
Why am I crying? Jefferson is bisexual, and he didn't have any feelings for you. He told you that himself.   
I didn't know why I was crying. But I had a duty to complete, and I was going to do it.   
I knew Tho- Jefferson had the ability to walk half asleep, and I quietly poked him. He grunted, and I tried to pull him up and succeeded - and I guided half-asleep Jefferson to his dorm, which was thankfully just a few minutes away. It was 2 AM and no cars were around, and there was just complete silence. 

Hercules had sobered up a little by the time I reached the entrance of the building and took him upstairs. I left without a word.  
Why am I so upset?

My muscles carried me to my dorm, where John and Peggy were curled up on John's bed, with an open door. I closed their room off and sat on the couch, contemplating my emotions. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. 

I took out a pen and a notebook from a nearby drawer because I wanted to write - maybe then I would understand why I was hurt. 

"Jefferson,

Today I found you in bed with Maria."

I sniffled and a drop stained the paper, smudging the still-wet fountain pen ink. I crossed it out and started again.

"Jefferson,

Today, you slept with Maria.  
But before that, you kissed me.  
Well, I guess that isn't true. I kissed you. But you kissed me back.  
You've always annoyed me, Jefferson, with your sucky comments and terrible nicknames for me. You've always been the sore thumb in the group because I didn't like you.  
But the past few weeks have been amazing.

Why am I crying? I don't know, Jefferson. I just don't know. I feel helpless, and I don't know how I can be helped either.   
I never thought I could have feelings for anyone after John. Sweet John, who tried to protect me, and cared for me when even my cousin couldn't -"

I stopped writing. That wasn't true. I cut through the last word. 

"Sweet John, who tried to protect me, and cared for me when even my cousin didn't. But I think that I have changed.   
I think I like you, Thomas. As more than a friend  
But I'm sure you do not like me.   
Maybe that is why I am crying so much.   
But I might have stored a little hope inside me that I was lovable, or that someone could actually want me. After the kiss, that hope was a little bigger, but now I see that I was wrong.   
I am a friend, and nothing more, nothing less.  
I wish you nothing but happiness, Jefferson.   
But -"

I couldn't stop crying and smudging the writing, so I tore the paper out, crumpled it up, and stashed it in my drawer. I couldn't look at it, at him, or at myself. I went inside my room, lied down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

I cannot believe how stupid I was.

I soon dozed off to sleep, only to be awoken rudely by my alarm. It was a Monday, which meant debate class. I couldn't face him today, I decided. So I just texted Mr Washington and said that I was too sick to come in, and I rolled myself up in my bedsheets. Tears kept rolling down my cheek as I stared into a single blank spot on the wall in front of me.

I wrote my own deliverance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alex.   
> I cannot promise that tomorrow will be better for him, meanwhile, enjoy some chapters in a day because I was ecstatic about finally being able to sing Hamilton songs without my mom telling me to shut up.  
> As per usual, keep reading, kudos-ing (??) and commenting :)


	18. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is an idiot and lies because he's an idiot   
> like come on alex whatchu doin

Jefferson's POV

Washington called me to his desk as soon as I entered the class.   
"Is something wrong with Hamilton?" He asked, obviously very worried. "He called in sick."  
I was a little confused. Had Alexander had a few drinks? He was supposed to be the designated sober person.  
"Sir, he was fine yesterday," I replied, furrowing my brows.   
"He has arrived in class with a fever and cough before, and I had to send him home," Mr Washington said. "It's very unlike him to miss class."  
"I'll look into it, sir," I promised. 

As Hamilton and I had a practice session today, it had to be rescheduled to the next week. I sat in class, not listening to Burr and Madison give their tentative and probably well-thought arguments, and instead pondered over last night.   
My memory was mostly a blur, the last thing I remembered being the fact that Alexander had asked me to stay close to him because nobody would get our costume. After that, it was fuzzy at best, with a few flashes of red and purple, which I'm sure were the lights. 

Soon the bell rang and signalled to lunch, while I ran to Hamilton's dorm. If he was actually sick, he would be buzzing around, and John would be trying to calm him down.   
I knocked on the door and heard a feeble "It's open" before I went inside. John was nowhere to be found, so I went straight into Hamilton's bedroom. 

He was on his bed, facing away from the door, and I could hear loud sobs. 

"Hey, hey hey hey," I said and rushed to the side of his bed. "What's wrong?"  
Hamilton turned around and wiped his face. "Nothing, Jefferson, nothing."  
"Why are you crying?"  
"I'm sick."  
"Bullshit. When you're sick you drink too much coffee and act like a child. I'm friends with John too, you know."  
He sniffled.   
"Tell me the truth, Alexander."  
He let out a sigh. "I'm just - I don't feel okay."  
"Why?"  
"I'm not telling you, Jefferson."  
"Yes, you are."  
"Why would you even care?"  
"Hamilton, stop being a brat, and tell me."

"I found someone I liked in bed with someone else," he said.   
"Who? John?"  
"No, not John."  
I internally scratched my head. Who, if not John?

"Will you tell me their name?"  
Hamilton paused for a second, and said, "Eliza."

Eliza?  
Eliza Schuyler?  
"What?"  
"Yes, Eliza. You wanted to know, and I told you. Now get out."  
I never agreed with him, and I wasn't about to start now.

"I'm coming back after my classes are over. Invite John and whoever else you want, and we'll have another movie night to get your mind off of things. Alright?"  
"If I agree, will you leave me alone?"  
"No, but it's not like you have a choice."  
"Fine."

I went out of his room and raided the fridge to find some pop tarts and a coffee pot. Keeping the sinking feeling in my stomach aside, I placed them on Hamilton's nightstand and took off for my law class, and the only thing in my mind was Hamilton. 

How did he like Eliza?  
He kissed me a few weeks ago.  
Of course, he wouldn't lie about liking someone, right? Who would do that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologize for this chapter being short, but I won't, because I need to switch to HamSlice's POV and I don't want to do it in the middle of a chapter. Also pls don't forget about the crumpled letter, it is vvvvv important   
> Love y'all


	19. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> john is a detective and alex is lucky to have a friend like eliza who will tolerate his idiocy

Hamilton's POV

I am the biggest idiot to have ever lived.

WHY DID I JUST TELL JEFFERSON THAT I LIKED ELIZA?!

Maybe because you know he doesn't like you back.   
Yes, that is why. 

Now I needed to do some damage control. I grunted and sat up in the bed, taking out my phone, and noticed a tray of pop tarts. Jefferson must have put them there.

I texted Eliza an SOS and she immediately called me.   
"Listen, I did something dumb," I said sheepishly.   
"What was it?"  
"I might have told Jefferson that I liked you, and you messed with someone else last night."  
"Alexander, none of those things are true."  
"I know, I know."  
"Why'd you tell him that?"  
My face flushed in embarrassment, I gripped the phone tighter and brought the microphone closer to my lips.  
"Because I think I like Jefferson."

I could hear Eliza squeal from the other side.   
"So it was a couple's costume?"  
"No! It was just a stupid pun."  
"But why did you tell him all that about you liking me?"  
"Because I found him in bed with Maria last night."

I heard a muffled gasp from the other side.   
"Maria Reynolds?"  
"Yes, the one who was dressed as Satan last night."  
"Alright."  
I sighed.   
"What do you want me to do, Alex?"  
"Pretend that you had a one night stand in case Jefferson says anything."  
"And you're sure this will help?"  
"Yes, I'm sure it will. We need to work together till nationals, and I don't want to screw up our chances of winning."  
"Okay. I'm not pretending in front of anyone else though."  
"Yep, yep, wouldn't want you to."

I put my phone down and re-evaluated my choices. I could either lock myself into my apartment with John's help, but John would ask me what was wrong - or I could go through with the movie night, and experience pain as Jefferson watches the movie.   
Yeah, I don't want to tell John anything, he seems to be happy with Peggy. 

I dragged myself out of bed and walked towards the living room, planting myself on the couch with the pop tarts and some coffee. I didn't want to invite anyone else as I would be forced to interact with them, but that would be better than just having Jefferson alone, wanting to do something but knowing that he doesn't want to, so I don't (A/N - consent is important, kids) and finally kicking myself because I knew I had brought that pain on to myself. 

I quickly sent a text into our group chat and within five minutes, got confirmation from Laf, Hercules, and John.   
"This is going to be hell," I whispered to myself and waited for everyone else while I finished the episode of Mindhunter that we didn't finish. 

As soon as the third episode finished, I heard a knock on the door. Jefferson, I assumed. "It's open!" I yelled, and he walked in, armed with Cheetos, Doritos and a - casserole?

"What the hell? Why a casserole?" I asked, getting up to help him with everything.   
"I made mac and cheese," Jefferson replied, setting everything down on the coffee table with a huff. "I thought that your fridge needed some actual food."  
I blushed, trying to hide it by turning around. "Thanks, Jefferson."  
"No Jeff?" He remarked, lugging his giant glass pan into the fridge. "Eliza must've really broken your heart."

I let out a "Hmm" and concentrated on putting away the snacks. I cannot let Jefferson ask me more questions.   
"So, what happened in debate class?" I asked.  
"Not much. Mr Washington was very concerned."  
"Of course he was."  
"I was concerned too, you know."  
"Yeah, because we need to practice."  
"No, because you're my friend, Ham Slice."

Ow. That hurt.

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps into this petty pace day to day," I quoted. "But sometimes there are surprises."  
"Stop quoting you-know-what," Jefferson replied. "You're really surprised?"  
"I thought you were putting up with me because you had to."  
"That is how it started, Ham and Cheese. But you're not that annoying unless you're talking like a freight train."

Not that annoying. 

I forced out a chuckle. 

"Let us in!" I heard someone scream from outside, presumably Hercules. I smiled and went to open the door, and soon the living room was filled with laughs and stupid arguments.

"GUYS!" John screamed, holding the remote in his hands. "Disney or Pixar?"  
"Brave," Laf said adamantly. Hercules shook his head. "Frozen 2," he countered, trying to grab the remote from John's hand.   
"Brave!"  
"Frozen 2!"  
A scuffle resulted, and soon I heard a shattering sound.   
"The batteries exploded, Herc," John said, exasperated. "I'll get more. And today is Brave day."  
Hercules pouted while Laf flipped him off.   
"Alex, don't you have batteries in your room?" John asked.  
"Yeah," I replied. "It's in my drawer in my nightstand."

John got up and went into my room. 

While Laf and Hercules fought a little, I heard John open the creaky drawer and soon he emerged from my room with batteries, but he had a strange expression on his face, directed to - Jefferson?

I decided to ignore it, as it was probably just the tray that he saw on the ground. Jefferson used the turtle-themed one, and he didn't know that John loved it from the bottom of his heart. 

Yeah, that's probably it. 

Soon, I drifted off, resting my head on the side of the couch, while Laf and Hercules were thoroughly engrossed in the film.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, Alex is an idiot. Also, I do similar things, so I will not fault him :)


	20. The Actual Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas finds things out but John is still mad

Jefferson's POV

For the last month, John had been weird. 

He had suddenly taken an interest in debate and had asked Mr Washington if he could observe our sessions, and Mr Washington, being the sweet, lovely man he is, had agreed. So John would sit with us in the library, in the coffee shop, even in my dorm, and he didn't take any notes, or even participated. He would simply be there, and it hindered the flow of our sessions because Hamilton constantly looked to John for his approval, and John would, on several occasions, look at me very angrily. 

Basically, it wasn't going well. And I knew that we had to win because Nationals were in two weeks, and Hamilton and I needed to have a session without him staring me down.   
So, I decided to ask him to leave when he wasn't with Hamilton. 

I walked up to John and Peggy after my creative writing class was over, and John's free period had begun.   
"Hey, Laurens," I said in a friendly tone, "Can I talk to you?"  
"Okay, Jefferson," he borderline spat.   
Peggy pretended to see someone and left, seeing the tension in the interaction. 

"Listen, I love that you've taken an interest in debate," I began, trying to let him down easy. "But Alexander and I have Nationals in two weeks, and I'd really like for us to practice alone. It's just faster and more organic that way, you know?"  
"I'll bet you'll love that," John muttered.   
"Excuse me?"  
"You really don't see what you did, do you?" John asked angrily.   
"What are you talking about?"

"I know about the kiss," he deadpanned.  
I froze. I hadn't told anyone but Madison, so I guess Hamilton told him. But then he knew what I said, right?  
"If you know about the kiss, you know that both Hamilton and I agreed that there were no feelings."

This somehow might have triggered John, as I was now up against a wall, his hands gripping my collar, almost ready to choke me.  
"You're manipulative, and a terrible person, you know that?" he said, his breath hot on my chest.   
"Huh?"  
"You slept with Maria, and Alex had to see you like that."  
"What are you talking about? I didn't sleep with Maria. I haven't met her for four months."  
"Bullshit. You slept with her on Halloween."

What the fuck is going on?

"I really don't know what you're talking about, John."  
"So you're doing this now. Alexander was wrong - you're not even a friend."  
"What the hell?"  
"I urge you to tread very carefully, Jefferson. This debate is important for Alex's scholarship, and I'll leave you two alone for that reason only. But if I see Alex even being remotely sad, I will break your ribs."

He let go of my collar.   
"And Jefferson, you're on thin fucking ice," he yelled, walking away. 

I'm so confused.   
I raced off to my dorm, where Hercules was trying to figure out MarioKart. 

"I was promised this would be easy," he mumbled, fumbling with the controller. 

I straightaway went into my room and sat down.  
Eliza.   
Alex liked her, didn't he? He said he had found her sleeping with someone else, but that story sounded too familiar to what John was accusing me of. On the same night, with the same circumstances, and the same result. 

I called the first person who I thought could help with this situation - Peggy. She had Maria's number.   
"Hey Peggy," I said when she picked up.  
"Hey!" she said, as bubbly as ever. "Are you okay?"  
"John didn't kill me," I chuckled.   
"So what's up?"  
"Can you send me Maria's number? It's for - for a project."  
"Do you have classes together?"  
My face flushed. Caught in a lie.   
"It's for an internship," was the first thing I could think off.  
"Alright then. I'll send it over."

I soon received her contact and texted her.

Hey, it's Thomas Jefferson. Can I call right now? It's important.

A few seconds later, a reply came. 

Sure, Thomas.

I started the call, and after a single ring, she picked up.   
"Hey, I'm sorry if this is sudden," I said.  
"No, it's fine," she replied.  
"I needed to clear something up."  
"Go right ahead."  
"Did we sleep together on Halloween?"

I could hear peals of laughter on the other side, clearly from Maria. 

"Thomas, you know that I'm gay, right?"  
FUuuuuucK.  
"But John said that Alexander found us together on a bed on Halloween."  
"My earring had gotten stuck on your scrubs and you had to take your shirt off, and we probably passed out then and there. My earring was missing when I got back in the morning."

I sighed in relief. So I hadn't slept with Maria after all.   
"Thanks, Maria."  
"It's cool, Thomas."

I heard a click from the other side and sat in my bed, a little relieved.  
So I hadn't slept with Maria.   
But why was Alexander upset when he found me with Maria?  
At least I could text John and tell him that he was mad for no reason. 

TJeff - Hey, John, I talked to Maria. I didn't sleep with her.  
But I don't know why you'd be mad about that.

JLaurens - Figure it out, Jefferson.

Contact has blocked you

I sighed and put my phone down. At least I have time alone with Alex for Nationals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming to an end, and I'm a little sad, but you know, all good things must come to an end - I think I have 5 more chapters to write? I mean, there will be one more cabinet battle, then Nationals, and yeah. I don't know yet, but we're definitely nearing the end here. At least I stuck with it, and I'm proud of that.   
> Keep sharing, commenting and voting!


	21. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alex has another anxiety attack, but this one is brought out by different things

Hamilton's POV

It physically hurt to see Thomas smile nowadays.  
John has been with us for all the previous sessions, but he hasn't been here for the past two. Today's the last "Cabinet Meeting", and I'm somehow nervous. 

Mr Washington came inside and gestured to the two of us once again. The entire class let out a groan.   
This felt familiar.   
"The issue on the table," Mr Washington started, "The use of nuclear deterrents. As this is the final practice, this decision is only up to me."

I gave a weak smile to Thomas, who looked confident, and I'm sure I looked like I was trying to escape.   
Thomas began his speech. 

"When we were in World War Two, war-torn and needy, we made a promise, we signed a treaty - we needed peace, love, and a new chance. What provided that peace? The NPT. In the treaty, however, they didn't ask for a limit. But it is the world's duty for peace, and we must fulfil it, and stand with humankind as they fight against nuclear tyranny!"

Thomas nodded for a second as I let out a chuckle. Nobody knew what was coming next. 

"I know Alexander Hamilton is here and he rather not have this debate, but I'd like to remind you that he is not in the judiciary yet! He knows nothing of suffering, of war and poverty, acts like we're all free - desperate to stick to the status quo, everything he'll say betrays the ideals of our nation. And if you don't know, now you know, Mr Washington," he finished. 

The class clapped for him, and I felt butterflies of nervousness in my stomach. I wasn't prepared for this. Nevertheless, I began when Mr Washington raised his hand. 

"You must be out of your goddamn mind if you think that the United States will let itself bring the nation to the brink of a middling military mess - a game of chess, where Russia is queen-and-king-less? We signed a treaty with a nation which may destroy us at any second, would you like to open dialogue and ask it? 'Should we stop stockpiling, the East?'  
'Do whatever you like, either way, you're super dead!'"

I heard an 'ooh' go through the class and suddenly felt out of breath. I wasn't ready, I hadn't prepared -

"That's enough, Hamilton wins," Mr Washington said in my periphery. My vision was closing in, concentrating on the floor. Nobody else seemed to notice what was going on, and I walked out, trying not to stagger, Jefferson on my tail.

As soon as I got to the outside of the class, I started breathing heavily. I wasn't prepared, for anything - the hurricane - I couldn't seem to die - I wanted to survive - but what do I survive for?

"Hey, hey," Thomas kept saying, right in front of me. 

If I don't win, I don't get a scholarship.   
Why did you think you could win?  
No, no.  
You were never good enough - not to leave, that was just pity -

"Hamilton?"

The only reason you left was that the people didn't want to take care of you -

"Alexander?"

Just like your father -

"Alex!"

Just like your cousin -

"Alex!"

I slumped to the ground and started shaking. 

Just like Thomas -

"Alexander!"  
"Go AWAY!" I screamed and kept shaking. 

Never good enough -


	22. Reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas finds something, and john is very angry

Jefferson's POV

Oh god, oh no, what is happening?  
Mr Washington came outside to check on Hamilton, presumably and found us in our current predicament, Alex on the ground, and me standing. 

"What's wrong, son?" He said, racing over to our part of the world.   
"Alex is having an anxiety attack," I said, my mind moving faster than my thoughts. "He's done this once before in front of me"

Alex kept muttering, rocking back and forth. 

"What can we do?" Mr Washington asked, brows furrowing. "I don't know."  
"The last time, someone having contact helped him. He won't let me touch him though."  
"Who can we call?"  
"Laurens," I said, kicking myself for not thinking of him sooner.   
"Do you know what class he has right now?"  
"Employee strategy, I think."

Mr Washington walked away, placing a call. Alex kept rocking, and I sat down next to him, maintaining a distance of a few inches from him. From this angle, I could hear what he was saying. Little whispers of "good" and "survive" escaped his lips, and judging by his state, he was barely aware of his surroundings. There was nothing more I wanted to do right now than take him in my arms, but he had said no (consent is important, kids!) and I wasn't about to do anything without his consent. 

"John will be here as soon as possible," Mr Washington said, walking back. "Get him some water."  
I nodded, running to the nearest water dispenser and grabbing a paper cup of water, racing back to give it to him.

I put it down next to him, and I heard footsteps of someone running, and looked up to see John, aggravated and worried. He stopped right in front of Alex and dropped to the floor on his knees, and started whispering something. I could only make out one phrase - 'a yellow sky'. He hugged him and picked up the paper cup to give him the water, and Alex's breath became slower and slower as his muttering stopped, John still whispering in his ear. At that moment, I felt a stab of emotion in my chest - jealousy?  
That's dumb. Alex was having an anxiety attack. 

"Pick him up," John said, rubbing Alex's back. "Jefferson, pick him up, I can't do it."  
"He said to not touch him."  
"He's about to pass out and needs someone to lift him. I can't do it. He needs you."

I agreed and scooped Alex up. Mr Washington nodded in our direction and we nodded back, an unspoken agreement passing through our minds - to get him okay as soon as possible. 

We walked to John and Alex's dorms, which were thankfully just a few minutes away from the classroom. John opened the lock and let us in, while I put Alex down on his bed, and he was fully passed out, his eyes shut firmly. John put a quilt over him, and I sat on Alex's bedside. 

"So what did you do?" John asked accusingly.   
"Nothing! He didn't give his entire speech, just about half, started hyperventilating, and went outside."  
It's clear John didn't believe me, but he couldn't disprove it, so we sat in silence for a few minutes. After a while, John cleared his throat.   
"Someone needs to stay with him," he said. "I have classes."  
"I'll stay," I volunteered. "Mr Washington'll vouch for me, plus Alex made me go to every class in this term, and my attendance is almost perfect."

"Alex?" John said. "Fine, but you better be careful."  
"Alright," I replied, still not knowing what he meant. 

John silently left, while I sat on Alex's bedside. His eyelashes would flutter every time he breathed in, his mouth sloped in a slight smile - gripping the quilt tightly. His hair was splayed on the pillow, and his breath could barely be heard in the utter silence. 

He was beautiful. 

I think it's about time I stopped lying to myself.   
I like Alexander Hamilton.

He kept breathing gently as I went into the washroom. I splashed some water on my face and looked into the mirror.   
I'm an idiot.

I walked back into his room and sat on the same spot. I figured he'd have a book in his nightstand and decided to read it before he woke up. I opened the drawer, saw 'Common Sense' by Thomas Paine, and picked it up. Of course, Alex read a political piece right before he went to bed. As I opened it, I saw a crumpled piece of paper in the back of his drawer, and against my better judgement, opened it and saw blue fountain pen ink. He wrote this for sure, and I expected some sort of argument that he thought of in the dead of night. 

Dear Jefferson -

It was addressed to me.   
I kept reading and my eyes widened. 

What the fuck? Alexander Hamilton liked me?

I could hear little groans from Alex and it looked like he was waking up. I quickly stashed the paper back into my pocket without finishing it. His eyes opened and he groaned, trying to sit up in the bed. 

"Shh, Alex, lie down, you need to rest," I said, not knowing what else to do.  
He slumped back to his previous position. "What happened?"

You tell me, Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The letter has been read. I'm still sad this is ending, but I love y'all, keep commenting and kudos-ing!  
> Also, I finally got the courage to listen to the end of the Hamilton soundtrack after re-watching the Hamilfilm like three times, and I am happy to report that I did not break down crying, unlike all the times I watched it. Plus, there's an online singing competition, and I'm confused - should I do Satisfied as I fully believe that I was born to play Angie in some production of Hamilton somewhere, or should I sing Burn because I can cry on command and it lends a real-esque feeling to the 'you you you' part, or should I do Heart of Stone from Six because the only singing talent I possess is belting and high whistle notes? Leave your comments! I sometimes envy people born in the US and Canada and the UK who have access to these kinds of things, because I was born in India and here, if you don't have a high-pitched voice as a female-born person, you're immediately branded as bad at singing, and I did get actual singing training, but the instructor forced me to sing at a really high pitch which damaged my vocal cords and three years later, they've finally returned to my actual voice which is pretty deep actually as it was when I was about 13 (I'm seventeen now) and I finally get to sing with my full range! (That was a long sentence) I've also found that I suck at normal mainstream songs (which is bad because I LOVE Taylor Swift) but I'm pretty okay at musical-esque songs, other than soprano ones because I can't listen to a soprano sing high notes for more than like 5 minutes without getting annoyed (another reason I preferred Santana to Rachel on Glee, RIP Naya) so these are my options lol.  
> Anyway, rant aside, please do continue to vote, comment and share!


	23. Not A Love Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas and alex. that's it

Hamilton's POV

I woke up groggily. Thomas picking me up was the last thing I remembered, and I did not feel okay. 

"Shh, Alex, lie down, you need to rest," Thomas said, and I slumped back.   
"What happened?" I asked, remembering being on the floor.

Thomas was quiet for a second. "You had an anxiety attack," he said, his voice low. "Why?"

"It's a blur," I replied. "I remember thinking that I wasn't ready. That I wouldn't win."  
"Of course you were prepared, Alex," he said, fidgeting with his fingers. "You won."  
"That's because I had a better stance than you, Jeffer-snob."  
"Shut up, HamChrist."  
"That's not even a thing."

I expected Thomas to chuckle, but he kept quiet. It looked like something was bothering him - and I hated it.   
"What's wrong, Thomas?" I asked, extending my hand towards his form.   
"I found something," he said, looking towards the floor. "I didn't mean to snoop, I just wanted to read something, and I found it in your drawer next to Common Sense -"

A chill went through my spine. In my drawer? That's where I put -

"This letter," he said, fishing it out of his pocket. "I found it."  
My face turned red and I pulled the quilt over my head.   
"You can do that, but you lied," he said. "You said you liked Eliza."  
"Well that was dumb on my part, Jefferson," I replied, my voice muffled under the quilt.   
"Yes, yes it was."  
"And writing this was dumb too."  
"No, it's not. I've never received a love letter."  
"IT'S NOT A LOVE LETTER."  
"Sure reads like one."  
"Shut up, Jefferson."

I could hear the paper crumpling, and I pushed the quilt down enough to peek at Jefferson, and immediately saw Thomas closer to me than before, looking straight (A/N - SURE JEFF) at me. His brown eyes sparkled, and I felt a weird feeling in my stomach. 

"It's good that you wrote this," he whispered, his breath falling on my chin. "Now I can ask permission to do this."  
"What?"  
"Alex," Thomas said, pulling the quilt down to reveal my entire face. "Can I kiss you?"  
I nodded. 

He captured my lips in his, and fireworks exploded in my abdomen. His hands cupped my cheek, while I raked my hands through his hair, which was surprisingly very soft. He pulled me towards him, and I offered no resistance. It felt new - and I wanted to do only this for the foreseeable future. But alas, we required oxygen. 

We pulled away, panting. Our lips were red and swollen, Thomas's hair a mess, and I was just panting.   
"At least I asked for permission," Thomas said after he caught his breath.   
"Shut up, Jeffershit," I said, wiping my mouth.   
"Oh, so we're back to last names?"  
"No, I just like you ruffled," I said, and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips before sitting back down on my bed.   
"What now?"  
"Why'd you sleep with Maria?" I asked impulsively.

Thomas chuckled. "I didn't."  
"I found you -"  
"Maria's gay and her earring got stuck on my surgeon's outfit."  
I smiled. "Makes sense."

"So," Thomas said, twiddling his thumbs. "What are we?"  
"I don't know," I said, blushing.   
"Me neither."

We went silent for a second, not knowing what to do.   
"Do-do you want to go get coffee with me?" I blurted. "You know, like a date?"  
Thomas smiled his wonderful smile. "Sure, sweet pea."

I blushed vigorously. "Sweet pea?"  
"Just trying something new," Jefferson said. "And it worked, didn't it?"  
"Shut up."  
"Nope," he said, pulling me up to kiss me again. Within our reverie, we didn't hear the door opening. 

"What the fuck?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Y'ALL ARE TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK.   
> Also, please help with the song thing:)  
> AND THEY'RE KIND OF SORT OF TOGETHER!!!   
> YAY   
> take your guesses on who it is


	24. Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people discover that jamilton are together yaaaaay

Jefferson's POV

I liked kissing Alex. He was small and malleable, and his lips were so incredibly soft, and he makes these little noises -

"What the fuck?" I heard a man with a French accent say, and broke off the kiss.

Lafayette, with a grocery bag in his hand, looked at the two of us and started laughing.   
"Madison, come in! They're kissing!"  
Then James came in, and I felt a blush creeping up my face. Hamilton was fully red, and I was sure I was showing some purple as well. 

"They were, in fact, kissing," James said, observing Alex closely. "I see a blush, and swollen lips-"  
"Stop overanalysing, James!" Laf said, poking him. "Now give me my 20 dollars."  
"Did you bet on us?" Alex screeched, and Laf laughed.   
"No, dumbass. He owes me for the snacks he bought you."

Laf set down the bag and I opened it, finding (insert American snacks) here.   
"Thanks, Mads," I said, taking out a few.   
"I paid for it!" Laf told us indignantly and sat down on the bed. "So what's going on, mon ami?"  
"Whatever do you mean, Laf?" Alex asked innocently, batting his eyelashes.   
"After the couple's costume, it was obvious," Madison chimed in.   
"It wasn't a couple's costume!" Alex and I said, in sync.   
"Look, they're already the same person!" Laf sighed. "Soon we'll call them Thomaxander Jamilton." (A/N - this is a test to see if you've read as many shitty soulmate jamilton fanfics as I have)

"Shut up."  
"No, you!" (A/N - roll credits!)

I laughed and then was reminded of something. "What about John? And nationals?"  
"We need to practice," Alex mumbled through a mouthful of food. "It needs to be better than today."  
"You had an anxiety attack, you're not going anywhere," I informed him, and Alex pouted. "Maximum to the coffee shop, but no yelling for you today."  
"That's Hercules' job, you know," Laf remarked, his mouth also full of food. "Mommy-ing Alex."  
"I'm not parenting him, that's gross," I said. "I'm simply trying to do the best I can to restrain him from doing something dumb and getting sick."  
"I agree," Madison said, taking small bites. "Doctors say people who suffer from anxiety attacks-"  
"Shut up," Laf interrupted, elbowing him.   
"So when will you tell Hercules you like him?" Alex said, still chewing. I swear, he eats like he's running out of time.   
Laf turned red. "I do not like Hercules."  
"I found you two making out at Halloween."  
"We need to make someone else the designated sober friend," Laf grumbled. "Fine, he knows, he just wants to wait until he graduates to pursue anything with me - something about grades. You Americans are weird."  
"Laf, you've been in America for ten years now."  
"And I still do not understand you."

We chuckled as the door opened once more, and John walked in. When he saw Alex and I sitting close together, his expression morphed into an unreadable one.  
"Johnny!" Laf said. "Alex and Thomas were kissing when we walked in."  
I sighed. Laf could not read the room.   
"Were they now?" John said. "Jefferson, my words still stand."  
"What words?" Alex piped in, finally not chewing.   
"Nothing," I hastily replied. 

There's no need for Alex to know that his best friend might murder me if I make him sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter - still sad. Next one will be Nationals, and maybe an epilogue?? IDK.   
> Keep reading, commenting, kudos-ing and sharing!!


	25. Nationals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NATIONALS

Third Person POV because I don't want to end it with one person's POV 

Alexander was shivering, and gripping Thomas's hand like there was no tomorrow.

"Third place goes to - Harvard!"  
They clapped politely, Alexander still shaking.   
"And first place goes to -"

Alexander's fingernails kept pushing their way into Thomas's skin, and Thomas was grateful for the distraction because unlike his calm demeanour, he was freaking out inside. The pain was welcome, and the seconds seemed to drag on for hours. 

Alex needed this, and Thomas needed it. 

"King's College!" the moderator announced, and Alexander's grip loosened. Both of them were flushed, an indescribable feeling of happiness curling in their abdomens, and wide grins on their faces. They went up to the dais, accepted the award, and on the drive home, none of them could speak.   
When they finally reached their dorms, the sun was setting, and neither wanted to leave the car. 

"We won," Alex muttered, unable to believe his own words.   
"We won," Thomas echoed. "Together."  
"And we didn't kill each other," Alex said, smiling. "In fact, we -"  
"Shut up, Ham Tart."  
"Still not a thing, Tom."

Thomas scrunched his nose. "Don't call me Tom."  
"I like how it messes with you," Alex said, putting his hand on Thomas's on the steering wheel.   
"You do, don't you?" Thomas said, his voice getting lower.  
"I like how your nose scrunches," Alex continued. "I like how you mess with your hair when you're nervous."  
Thomas was still, only wanting to hear the quiet praise dripping from Alex's lips. 

"I like how you cook for me and get me coffee when I'm too busy. I like how you yell at me when I drag chairs on the floor to reach the top shelf, and then get me what I need from there. I like your stupid obsession with magenta, and how you've attached a little green key chain on your backpack -"  
"Shut up and kiss me," Thomas said, unable to control himself. Alex brought his lips to Thomas's, and they moaned into the kiss, unable to form words. Once they broke apart for oxygen, Alex looked at him, with pure adoration in his eyes.

"I like you, Thomas Jefferson."  
"I like you too, Alexander Hamilton."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. I'M SO SAD, BUT I LOVE THIS STORY.   
> THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS. AND I KNOW IT IS A LITTLE SHORT, BUT THERE'S AN EPILOGUE COMING UP.   
> this would've been perfect for smut but I'm very - (inexperienced)


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family :)

Third Person POV

"Jefferson, I want to go eat."  
"Nope."  
"I really didn't want to do this -"

Alex picked up the little girl in his arms, who was squealing in indignation. He carried her over to the kitchen table, where Thomas was cooking with their (other) baby strapped to his back, cooing to him. The smell of macaroni and cheese floated through the kitchen, and the toddler was scrambling to get off the table, which Alex tried to prevent. 

"Angelica, behave, or you won't get extra Parmesan," Thomas threatened, pausing his stirring to turn around and give Angelica a stern look.  
"Of course your gremlin wants extra cheese," Alex mumbled, trying to stop Angelica from jumping off the relatively low table.   
"What did we discuss, Alex?" Thomas said, trying to stop Philip from pulling his hair. "She's our gremlin."  
His curls were as bouncy as ever, and he used his other hand to push some away from his face. 

"Look, Philip, your father has bangs," Alex giggled, taking pleasure in Thomas's annoyance.   
"They're not bangs, they're tendrils," Thomas grumbled, turning off the heat, and unstrapping Philip from his back. "But I wouldn't expect you to know, with that terrible short hair you call 'stylish'."

Alex simply laughed and set Angelica down on her high chair, and then took Philip in his arms.   
"I do have to admit that having two children is tiring," Alex said, rocking Philip in his arms as he giggled. "I barely have time for one annoyance, let alone three."

Thomas gasped, putting his hand on his chest. "Are you calling me an annoyance?"  
"Maybe," Alex smiled, setting up Philip's chair. "A hot one, though."  
"Alex, there are children here."  
"Who do not know that hot is not just a measure of the amount of kinetic energy in a body," Alex replied, finally strapping Philip in.   
"You haven't changed, have you?" Thomas sighed as he put down the giant pot of mac and cheese on the table and proceeded to take the formula milk from the fridge.  
"I would never, Jeff."  
"Same to you, Hamslice."

They ate their dinner in peace, entertaining Angelica's various questions about the world and how raccoons are terrifying, put their kids to sleep, and finally snuggled up to each other in their bed. 

Alex stroked Thomas's hair, and Thomas snorted.   
"What is it?" asked Alex, a little offended.   
"Nothing. I was just reminded of something," Thomas replied, bringing himself closer to Alex.   
"And what might that be?"

"I love you, Alexander," Thomas said, smiling at him, and relishing the blush on Alex's cheeks that still appeared despite years of being together.   
Alex snuggled closer to him, resting his head in the crook of Thomas's neck. "I love you too, Jeffer-shit."

"Ouch."  
"Get used to it," Alex said, giving Thomas a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Good night."  
"Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Philip was older than Angelica but shut up it's my fanfic and now I'm crying because I want a life like this but anyway  
> I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED A STORY  
> THANK YOU FOR READING IT  
> I LOVE ALL OF YOU  
> I might be writing another one soon, so stay tuned I guess  
> FOR NOW, THIS IS GOODBYE  
> IM SAD  
> Goodbye, dear readers :3


	27. AUTHOR'S NOTE + SIGN OFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is an author's note. that's it. the story's over. read this if you want more jamilton fluff.

Y'all y'all y'all  
I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT WE REACHED THE END.  
I AM JUST GOBSMACKED!  
yes I use old people words

AND TO CELEBRATE  
I HAVE DECIDED   
I SHALL WRITE ANOTHER FANFICTION ON JAMILTON.

It will be about office stuff because I am currently doing an internship and I sort of have an idea on how they work.

Plus!! I am starting college in a few weeks. I'm studying neuroscience, and plus I'm starting to learn sign language on my own, because I want to research on differently-abled and non-verbal people in the future - aka a neuropsychology specialization. So I might not update as regularly.

But rest assured that the second fanfic is coming.

Update - it's gone up! It's called "A Million Things I Haven't Done [Jamilton]" and you can access it through my profile.

Also, I'm on Wattpad, same username, if you wanna follow!

also. I love y'all. No matter who you are, the fact that you are taking time out to read my stupid fanfiction about two men who lived 300 to 400 years ago is wonderful, and my heart shall soon be divided into pieces because my heart goes out to you (can you tell that I'm not particularly adept at social situations?) and I hope you enjoyed it.

Hamilnerdom OUT


End file.
